Gay by Degree is a website that has been developed by gay rights charity Stonewall. Initially when I heard about it, I wasn’t sure what to think. But when I looked at it I was impressed with the idea and how it has materialised.
Basically Stonewall has rated each University on it’s level of gay friendliness. They’ve done this by checking if the universities have the following:
•A Stonewall Diversity Champion
• A policy that protects lesbian, gay and bisexual students from bullying
• Compulsory staff training on lesbian, gay and bisexual issues
• Lesbian, gay and bisexual staff network
• Student lesbian, gay and bisexual society
• Info for students on lesbian, gay and bisexual issues
• Events for lesbian, gay and bisexual students
• Explicit Welfare Provision for lesbian, gay and bisexual students
• Consultation with lesbian, gay and bisexual students
• Specific Career Advice for lesbian, gay and bisexual students
(From: http://www.gaybydegree.org.uk/introduction-to-the-guide, Last Accessed: 18 August 2010)
The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett is a story of Sabine who we meet when she looses her gay husband Parsifal suddenly. She knew he had HIV but expected it to be a few more years before his death.
Parsifal was a great magician and Sabine his loyal assistant. Parsifal had been in love with Phan who died from AIDS recently. Parsifal knowing that he was HIV positive and had no family decided to marry his life long friend Sabine. This was so that she would be entitled to his inheritance and because on a deep level he truly loved her.
After Parsifal’s death the lawyer explains to Sabine that Parsifal has family in Alliance, Nebraska. This is a great shock for Sabine who thought Parsifal had no family. Why didn´t she know about them? Why did he never talk about them and deny all knowledge of having a family?
You join Sabine on an emotional journey as she meets this family and discovers more about Parsifal´s childhood. During the days Sabine learns more about Parsifal and in the nights she dreams meeting first Phan and eventually Parsifal. Along the way Sabine learns more about herself and realises that Parsifal has given her a most precious gift, more precious than money and security she thought he´d left her.
This book becomes an absolute page-turner as the reader connects with Sabine and needs to know what will happen next. The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett is available to purchase on Amazon.
The Old Town – Gay Guide
The old town with it’s narrow streets and traditional architecture hosts a selection of gay pubs & clubs. It is difficult to find a decent online gay guide (as I tried before I went away) for Benidorm, but if you go in to Queens Bar & Hotel they have a locally produced printed gay guide with a map. The only criticism of this gay guide is that it doesn’t give you any information about the pubs & clubs. So here’s my thoughts and opinions:
Queens Bar & Hotel – friendly staff, excellent food, the famous Levi on in the evening show that starts at 10:30-ish. In addition to this, it’s a great place to stay. If I wasn’t staying with Boyfriend-W next time I’m in Benidorm, I’d definitely be staying here.
Peppermint Bar – a good bar for a few drinks. I describe this bar in Adventure 2 – Benidorm Part 2. Apparently it can get raunchy towards the end of evening as the alcohol flows and the men get horny. I can’t vouch for this as I always deliberately moved on from here before it gets too late in to the evening/early morning.
Chaplins – another good bar, opens in the evenings. It had mirrored walls, is well lite and always seems to have plenty of people in (which is always a good sign).
Company Bar – Ok for a drink early on in the evening, it is mainly a chatting bar really. It’s a tiny place with bar stools and little thin circular tables crammed in.
Mercury – a club with dance music. Love it. On my last night with Boyfriend-W we ended up in there. The as the alcohol kicked in we drunkenly danced to Bad Romance by Lady Ga Ga (which we’d heard for like the ninth time that night).
Lovers Bar – you have to buzz to get in, so there’s no telling whether it’s busy or not. When you get in it’s a bar but with dance music. The owner is a local Spanish guy who was touching and rubbing his cock with his hand in his jeans pocket when I ordered a drink. Apparently I’m his type. It wouldn’t have been so bad apart from I was the only person in the place, so I couldn’t really not sit at the bar. Needless to say I downed my drink and left, sharpish.
Men Only – I didn’t really go in this bar as every time I passed it the older crowd seemed to inhabit the place. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just not my scene personally.
According to the Gay Guide there’s plenty of more places there. Some I walked past and where empty so didn’t go in and some I never found. The Old Town also boosts a gay sauna, a bears bar and a sex shop, but I never went in to any of these. Not my scene.
New Town – Straight Ville
I explored the new town on my own one of my first evenings there. My initial impressions weren’t good when on walking around the bars and clubs (a lot of which were closed due to the time of year) and was offered drugs by a Spanish local.
However Boyfriend-W took me down to the new town and we went in to Cafe Benidorm and The Red Dog. The music was camper than in the Old town! And even though it was out of season, it was still reasonably busy. Both of these pubs/clubs are good places to go.
One night I was invited by Boyfriend-W to see Levi the fantastic drag queen at a bar called Sandra’s (Levi also works at the Queens Bar & Hotel). Unfortunately I was knackard in the early evening and fell asleep. I got up too late and had missed the show. Will have to go next time when I go back to visit Boyfriend-W in Benidorm.
So that’s it the final installment of my holiday to Benidorm. So next time your due a holiday, get yourself to Benidorm. I had an ace time and will definitely be going back.
Boyfriend-W and I first met when with his deep brown eyes met mine as he flashed me a cheeky smile. He serves me behind his bar. He makes some flirty comment to which I say something along the lines of: “A good looking guy like you wouldn’t be single?”
He replies “You’d be wrong.”
I lean forward as If I’m going to say something for his ears only and say “Then you’d be a player?”
He looks deep in to my eyes and repeats “Then you’d be wrong.”
He glances around the bar sensing that other customers needed serving and leaves me to it.
Later that evening I’m sat in Peppermint bar when he comes in and sits opposite me. The bar is very dark with mirrored walls, a square shaped bar with bar stools around it. The main source of lighting are red lights that illuminate the ash trays dotted around the bar. An older Irish bloke is talking to me, old enough to be my granddad and Boyfriend-W is chatting to some of his friends. “Right well I’m out of fags and I’ve finished my drink, I’m off home.” I announce to the customers in the bar, rather tipsy. “Oh do you want a fag.” he says leaning over the bar handing me one. But I quickly get drawn back in to conversation with the Irish guy as does Boyfriend-W does with his friends.
Roll on to the second night and I’m back Peppermint bar enjoying my drink. The guy sat next to me leaves, leaving the only empty bar stool in the bar. I had learned not to look at the door when it opens as you can’t see who’s coming in because of the outside street lighting is so bright compared with the darkness of the bar. Someone sits next to me on the empty bar stool, I look and then look again realising it’s Boyfriend-W. We say hello and start chatting. One of the wonderful things about Boyfriend-W is the fact he’s honest. He stated that I was wrong to prejudge him and I and apologised. Since I’ve thought about it and he’s totally right. But more importantly I know why I did it: my emotional barriers that I have to protect me. When somebody helps me realise something about myself, I can’t help but feel interested in a person. Already finding him physically attractive I became even more attractive as I discovered he’s funny, caring and very intelligent. So that’s how we met and got talking.
The following night he invited me to stay at his and I did. Followed by spending several days at his, enjoying his company, his friend J who lives with him and the dog and cat. He cooked while I stated over – the most amazing food. He’s such a good cook. I’ve been honest and told him I don’t cook – but I did my share of the cleaning up afterwards. We got in a little routine of me doing my own thing in the afternoons (usually sun-bathing), meeting up at his bar in the evenings and then going out for drinks after he finished work. And then one day, just sat having a brew his couch in the afternoon watching TV he asked me out. I accepted, knowing that he was coming over to where I live to visit family next week, so it wouldn’t be too long until we saw one another again.
On my last full day in Benidorm pulled a face and said: “You know I’ll have to stay at my hotel on my last night. As I’ve gotta be checked out by twelve and I’ve gotta pack my case and everything.” “Check out early and stay here. I’ll drive you back to your hotel, you pack your case, I’ll meet you later in the bar and then we’ll go and pick up your case. Then tomorrow I’ll drive you back in time for your coach.” “Okay.”
In part 3 I’ll do a gay guide to the gay pubs and clubs in the Old Town of Benidorm and mention the purpose built new town.
Write soon,
Antony
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Thursday 4 March 2010
About
Antony Simpson - Author, Blogger, Nurse & Witch.
Author of eight books.
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