Imagine living with a secret that could get you killed. Imagine the lengths you would have to go to to keep this secret. Imagine growing up being told that people like you are unnatural and immoral. In these circumstances how would you cope? How would you protect your mental and emotional health?
What I’ve just described is the life of some gay men in some places. They aren’t able to choose who they love. They face being disowned by their family and friends, assaults, criminal prosecution and potentially even being sentenced to death. Just because of who they are and who they are attracted to/fall in love with.
In the UK, gay men have equal rights in law and attitudes are becoming more positive towards gay men. But this wasn’t always the case.
Just fifty years ago, being gay was illegal in the UK. Gay men weren’t out, they couldn’t marry their male partners, couldn’t adopt children as a gay couple and couldn’t give blood.
If fifty years ago a gay man had come out and told people of their sexuality they would face legal consequences (such as being locked up in a mental hospital or worse chemical castration). They would face being disowned by their community (if not driven out of it), become the repeated victim of crime, experience unsympathetic and homophobic Police, experience discrimination when buying goods or accessing services, be unable to get employment and many other negative consequences. All because they’d been honest about who they are and who they are romantically attracted to.
Given this history of prejudice and discrimination (both on individual and institutional levels), it’s not surprising that coming out is a big event for gay men. Gay men who do come out show emotional vulnerability, driven by a desire for loved ones to fully know them and a hope that they will accept them for who they are. It explains why some people gay men will never come out and take the secret of who they are to their grave.
It also explains why gay men often have mental health issues (including being at greater risk of suicide), low self-esteem, problems with addiction (self-medicating difficult emotions such as shame or fear) and generally worse health outcomes than heterosexual people. There’s a lot of shame, self-loathing and unhappiness in the gay community. It is currently getting better in the UK, with younger generations of gay men experiencing these issues to a lesser extent.
But around the world there are many places where it is extremely unsafe to be a gay man. Where gay men still have to hide who they are. I think it’s really sad that gay men have only got equal rights in some countries, but not others.
Here are some countries where it is unsafe to be a gay man and what the legal consequences could be for coming out. An out gay man in any of these countries would likely experience the same prejudice and discrimination that an out gay man would have experienced in the UK fifty years ago. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Just some of the main countries I found out about whilst doing research for this blog post.
| Country | Legal Consequences |
| Egypt | Up to 17 years in prison, with or without hard labour. |
| Morocco | Up to 6 years in prison, with hard labour. |
| Tunisia | 3 years in prison. |
| Ghana | 3 years in prison. |
| Nigeria | Up to 14 years in prison. They have the death penalty in some parts, but it is apparently not used. |
| Kenya | Up to 14 years in prison. |
| Saudi Arabia | Very barbaric. Death penalty, or prison. Fines and floggings. |
| United Arab Emirates | Prison time. Minimum 6 months, but no upper maximum amount of time (up to the Courts). |
| Bangladesh | 10 years to life prison sentence. |
| Maldives | Up to 8 years in prison. |
| Pakistan | 2 years to life in prison. |
| Sri Lanka | Up to 10 years in prison, plus fines. |
| Malaysia | 20 years in prison. |
What struck me after I compiled the list above, is that for some people, their holiday destination might be listed. I wonder if the people going on holiday to these places realise how they treat gay men there? Just a thought.
If you enjoyed this blog post, you might enjoy my Influential UK Gay Men article which is available as a free download here.
Write soon,
Antony
