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A new design and a new beginning

By Life, Love & Relationships2 Comments

A warm welcome my newly designed blog, Version 9 (see Geeky Post: Website Development for previous designs). I can’t take credit for the design, the good people at WordPress Theme Designer created the design and I’ve simply tweaked it with their support.

There were two reasons for the new design. The first was in response to feedback. People said that I write about a such diverse variety of topics that they struggle to catergorise my blog and choose articles that interest them. So hopefully this design will make it much easier to pick out posts that interest you? Comments welcome.

The second reason for the redesign was because I felt it was a good time for a new design as soon I embark on a new chapter in my life. So get a brew, get comfy and I will tell you what’s happened in the last month…

The story starts a few months ago Boyfriend-W came to visit, which I blogged about in a post entitled Meeting Family, Getting Closer & Making Plans. One evening on this visit he is sat up on the bed and I’m hoping on one foot putting on my jeans he looks at me.
“Antony.” he says, “Come and live with me in Benidorm.”
After my inital shock and asking for sometime to think and thinking about it I decided I would. Afterall he makes me happy and our relationship seems to go from strengh to strengh.

So the last month has been a busy one. I asked work to give me six months unpaid leave which they kindly agreed and I am eternally greatful for. I’ve spent countless evenings sorting & packing. I’ve taken and sent things over to Bendorm. I’ve thrown lots of rubbish out, given lots of things away and packed things for storage at mums or one of my close friends.

My apartment (see The Move) I have put up for rent through an agency. I’ve been telephoning and emailing various companies to end contracts and notifing relevant institutions of my change of address.

Finally add on top of that seemingly endless social engagements as I try to meet up with as many family and friends as I can before I leave (all of which I am going to miss dearly) and you can understand why I haven’t blogged in a month.

So as I start on my next adventure with Boyfriend-W in Benidorm in the next few weeks, look forward to normal blogging service resuming.

Write soon,


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My Writing Process – for some of my better blog posts

By ThinkingNo Comments

Recently I read about Stephen Fry’s writing process (see Inspired by Stephen Fry) and it got my thinking about my own writing process. Some of my better blog posts such as What makes a relationship work, Maintaining Motivation and Relaxation I consider to be well written. So here’s a description of my writing process, I hope the budding writers find it useful.

I currently have loads scaps of paper around the apartment with random blog titles on and idea’s for future posts. My inspiration firstly comes from my own experiences. Other than that I get ideas from listening to other people’s experiences (or reading other’s experiences on blogs), reading the News and generally anything else I come across on the World Wide Web. Sometimes I even type random words in to Google and see what search results appear.

I start by mind mapping what I aspects of the chosen subject I want to write about like below:

(Although it’s usually on the scraps of paper, rather than in Microsoft Paint)

Usually the ideas are in no particular order and need some rejiging in order for it all to make sense. I number the ideas in the order I need to discuss them to make the post flow logically, ensuring I have a Begining, Middle and End.

A begining is important as it needs to introduce what you are going to write about as well as the why, who, how and when. The middle is the section were you expand on your introduction and explain your points in detail. The end brings the post to a conclusion, sometimes summerising your thoughts and or feelings about the topic you’ve discussed so readers leave knowing what the point of your post was.

In terms of the actual writing of my posts I sit in my living room mostly unless I’m feeling particularly inspired to go in the office/guest room with the desktop computer and antique style desk. I usually always have a brew, usually in a big cup (it’s thirsty work). I tend to write in the evenings, after tea and after I’ve chilled out from the stress of the day – unless I intend to blog about my source of the stress of course, in which case the emotions are better when they are fresh. Occasionally I’ll have the Saturday or Sunday (all day and all evening) at home a bash a number of blog posts out and set them to schedule during the week or weeks ahead.

I always try to keep in mind my readers, mostly friends, family and some randomers that have managed to accidently find my blog and keep revisiting (so they must like what they read presumerly). Once a blog post is complete, I preview it and check for any missed words, mispelt words, etc, before hitting the publish/shedule for later button. My editing isn’t the best though and I’m sure from time to time you’ve seen words mispelt, the occassional missing words or worse. Please don’t tell me if you do spot them, I’d rather not know. Ignorance is bliss.

Now, I am not saying that all my blog posts are written using this process. If they all were, I’m sure it would be a much better quality read. But I do try and do a few a month like this to keep my writing readable and enjoyable for my readers. It’s nice to please readers but mainly I write for me. It helps my creative juices flow and I find it for some reason very theraputic.

Hope this helps any budding writers and explains my writing process,


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The first guest

By Friends & FamilyOne Comment

A while back I had a mad cleaning day were I made my junk room into a suitablely tidy guest room (see The Undomestic God(dess)). The other week the was a family friends wedding and mum had asked if my granddad could come and stay at mine. I was more than happy to oblige.

I spent all my spare time in the week cleaning in preparation. He came to stay and like every g.g.h (good gay host) I showed him around, made sure he had clean towls (and anything else he might need) and made him plenty of brews.

The morning after the evening party we spent hours with brews chatting. I found my self listening deeply, trying to absorb every word as he spoke about his life, past jobs, past relationships, his current relationship, his love of the army and his reason for him leaving, his mum and dad and his grandma and granddad. I know I won’t remember every word, but I will do my best to remember as much as possible. For the first time I saw my granddad as a man who has lived a lot of his life rather than simply as my granddad.

So there we go, I’ve had my first guest. It was a pleasure to have him to stay, I love him very much and he is welcome to stay at any time.

Take care,


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By Friends & Family, Love & RelationshipsNo Comments

The other Sunday JB and I arranged to go for Sunday dinner. He wanted pizza (or some pasta thingy) and I wanted a traditional Sunday carvery. I stated over text that we could negotiate (meaning I wanted my own way). JB being clever and diplomatic that he is, let me have my own way! So off we went for a drive and found a nice carvery in the countryside (at least it had green things sprouting out of the ground anyway).

We had a lovely dinner although I did have an overspill of the gravy as I’d put too much on lol. It was a lovely day and on our return I had a brew at his before setting off home. I think I have started to breakdown some of the internal barriers towards him and started to become quite open about exploring what could develop between us.

That’s all for now,


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