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Dear Me, A letter to my 16 year old self

By Books & Authors, Gay, History, Reviews, Thinking2 Comments

I recently finished reading Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self. Celebrities have written letters to their sixteen year old selfs in aid of the Elton John AIDS Foundation. For each book sold a minimum of £1 goes to the charity.

Contributors include: Will Young, Sir Elton John, Alan Carr, Jonathan Ross, Peter Kay, Jackie Collis, Annie Lennox, Stephen Fry, Liz Smith, Emma Thompson, John Barrowman, Paul O’Grady and many more.

The hard-back book with glossy pages contained hand written letters, typed letters and photos of some the contributors at the age of sixteen. Their messages to themselves included: words of warning, regrets, messages of hope, reassurance that things would be ok, a need to conquer their fears and worries. The book made me laugh, cry and think about myself as a sixteen year old.

Interestingly a friend who knew me at sixteen CS recently got back in touch via Facebook. We had a long phone conversation (over two and a half hours) and are planning to meet for a coffee.

After a lot of thought about myself at sixteen and after speaking to CS I decided to write my own letter to my sixteen year old self. I have wrote my own letter to myself at sixteen (there a a few missed words – must start checking all my writing and edit it properly), here it is:





I would highly recommend you buy Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self for yourself and possibly for a Christmas / Yule present for some of your family or friends. I promise you and them will love it.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Stephen Gately RIP

By Music & Radio, Thinking4 Comments

Stephen Gately recently passed away over the weekend (see Telegraph – Stephen Gately Boyzone Star Dies Suddenly on Holiday). As well as being a talented musician he also did a lot for gay people after coming out in 1999. For example in their recent video “Better” he had a male partner see:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hc0uHs1X9s

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When he came out, he came out saying he was gay and in love, normalising gay relationships as loving ones that are about more than sex.

So Rest In Peace Stephen. My love and hugs to his partner Andrew, it must be horrible to loose your partner in this way. So final.

Antony

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My Writing Process – for some of my better blog posts

By ThinkingNo Comments

Recently I read about Stephen Fry’s writing process (see Inspired by Stephen Fry) and it got my thinking about my own writing process. Some of my better blog posts such as What makes a relationship work, Maintaining Motivation and Relaxation I consider to be well written. So here’s a description of my writing process, I hope the budding writers find it useful.

I currently have loads scaps of paper around the apartment with random blog titles on and idea’s for future posts. My inspiration firstly comes from my own experiences. Other than that I get ideas from listening to other people’s experiences (or reading other’s experiences on blogs), reading the News and generally anything else I come across on the World Wide Web. Sometimes I even type random words in to Google and see what search results appear.

I start by mind mapping what I aspects of the chosen subject I want to write about like below:


(Although it’s usually on the scraps of paper, rather than in Microsoft Paint)

Usually the ideas are in no particular order and need some rejiging in order for it all to make sense. I number the ideas in the order I need to discuss them to make the post flow logically, ensuring I have a Begining, Middle and End.

A begining is important as it needs to introduce what you are going to write about as well as the why, who, how and when. The middle is the section were you expand on your introduction and explain your points in detail. The end brings the post to a conclusion, sometimes summerising your thoughts and or feelings about the topic you’ve discussed so readers leave knowing what the point of your post was.

In terms of the actual writing of my posts I sit in my living room mostly unless I’m feeling particularly inspired to go in the office/guest room with the desktop computer and antique style desk. I usually always have a brew, usually in a big cup (it’s thirsty work). I tend to write in the evenings, after tea and after I’ve chilled out from the stress of the day – unless I intend to blog about my source of the stress of course, in which case the emotions are better when they are fresh. Occasionally I’ll have the Saturday or Sunday (all day and all evening) at home a bash a number of blog posts out and set them to schedule during the week or weeks ahead.

I always try to keep in mind my readers, mostly friends, family and some randomers that have managed to accidently find my blog and keep revisiting (so they must like what they read presumerly). Once a blog post is complete, I preview it and check for any missed words, mispelt words, etc, before hitting the publish/shedule for later button. My editing isn’t the best though and I’m sure from time to time you’ve seen words mispelt, the occassional missing words or worse. Please don’t tell me if you do spot them, I’d rather not know. Ignorance is bliss.

Now, I am not saying that all my blog posts are written using this process. If they all were, I’m sure it would be a much better quality read. But I do try and do a few a month like this to keep my writing readable and enjoyable for my readers. It’s nice to please readers but mainly I write for me. It helps my creative juices flow and I find it for some reason very theraputic.

Hope this helps any budding writers and explains my writing process,

Antony



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All of your tick boxes

By Love & Relationships, Thinking6 Comments

When looking for a partner we all have tick boxes in our head. Qualities, traits or characteristics that we would like them to meet. Some we see as essential and others aren’t as important. Some of my tick boxes are:

  • Attractive – nice eyes, short, slim
  • Emotions – love, make me feel that certain way
  • Funny
  • Good sexual chemistry
  • Intimacy – not sex, but sensual experiences
  • Pagan – or at least interested in spirituality
  • Stimulating conversation -Pillow talk
  • Support when times are tough
  • Clear communicator
  • Romance – surprises and little efforts
  • The little things: Tea in the morning – in bed
  • Honesty
  • Knowing how to handle me, knowing how to give constructive critism or challenge me with out getting my back up
  • Keeps me in check – in terms of my little boundary pushes from time to time
  • Caring and Kindness – not just to me but to others
  • Buys good gifts
  • An optimistic
  • An creative
  • Recognise the importance of balance. The relationship VS my independent life
  • Gets on with my friends and my family
  • Can put up with my untidiness
  • Be open about Finances, share the expenses at dates (maybe I pay one time he pays the other)
  • Wow that’s a long list! What I’ve realised is that this comes from Disney. I was a Disney child brought up with stories of a princess finding her prince, who’s perfect in every way and ticked everyone of the princesses tick boxes. But that’s in an ideal and perfect world.

    Human beings by nature are imperfect and as such have created an imperfect world. So is it really realistic to expect one man to meet all of your tick boxes in your head? Human beings are also social creatures, so why can’t some of these boxes be ticked by family, friends and other loved ones?

    I think so. I am going to reflect on what I really want a man to tick and what others are currently being ticked by family, friends and others. If any are left over, I’ll have to find someone to tick them too.

    One person can’t meet all of our needs. We are social beings and as such need a number of people to meet our different needs. To expect on man to meet all of our needs is unrealistic.

    We as human beings are quite needy aren’t we? Or is it just me?

    Blog soon,

    Antony

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