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qualities in a man

All of your tick boxes

By Love & Relationships, Thinking6 Comments

When looking for a partner we all have tick boxes in our head. Qualities, traits or characteristics that we would like them to meet. Some we see as essential and others aren’t as important. Some of my tick boxes are:

  • Attractive – nice eyes, short, slim
  • Emotions – love, make me feel that certain way
  • Funny
  • Good sexual chemistry
  • Intimacy – not sex, but sensual experiences
  • Pagan – or at least interested in spirituality
  • Stimulating conversation -Pillow talk
  • Support when times are tough
  • Clear communicator
  • Romance – surprises and little efforts
  • The little things: Tea in the morning – in bed
  • Honesty
  • Knowing how to handle me, knowing how to give constructive critism or challenge me with out getting my back up
  • Keeps me in check – in terms of my little boundary pushes from time to time
  • Caring and Kindness – not just to me but to others
  • Buys good gifts
  • An optimistic
  • An creative
  • Recognise the importance of balance. The relationship VS my independent life
  • Gets on with my friends and my family
  • Can put up with my untidiness
  • Be open about Finances, share the expenses at dates (maybe I pay one time he pays the other)

    • Wow that’s a long list! What I’ve realised is that this comes from Disney. I was a Disney child brought up with stories of a princess finding her prince, who’s perfect in every way and ticked everyone of the princesses tick boxes. But that’s in an ideal and perfect world.

    Human beings by nature are imperfect and as such have created an imperfect world. So is it really realistic to expect one man to meet all of your tick boxes in your head? Human beings are also social creatures, so why can’t some of these boxes be ticked by family, friends and other loved ones?

    I think so. I am going to reflect on what I really want a man to tick and what others are currently being ticked by family, friends and others. If any are left over, I’ll have to find someone to tick them too.

    One person can’t meet all of our needs. We are social beings and as such need a number of people to meet our different needs. To expect on man to meet all of our needs is unrealistic.

    We as human beings are quite needy aren’t we? Or is it just me?

    Blog soon,

    Antony

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    Saturday 3 October 2009
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