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Adventure 2 – Benidorm Part 2

By Adventures, Happiness & Joy, Love & Relationships3 Comments

Boyfriend-W and I first met when with his deep brown eyes met mine as he flashed me a cheeky smile. He serves me behind his bar. He makes some flirty comment to which I say something along the lines of:
“A good looking guy like you wouldn’t be single?”
He replies “You’d be wrong.”
I lean forward as If I’m going to say something for his ears only and say “Then you’d be a player?”
He looks deep in to my eyes and repeats “Then you’d be wrong.”
He glances around the bar sensing that other customers needed serving and leaves me to it.

Later that evening I’m sat in Peppermint bar when he comes in and sits opposite me. The bar is very dark with mirrored walls, a square shaped bar with bar stools around it. The main source of lighting are red lights that illuminate the ash trays dotted around the bar. An older Irish bloke is talking to me, old enough to be my granddad and Boyfriend-W is chatting to some of his friends.
“Right well I’m out of fags and I’ve finished my drink, I’m off home.” I announce to the customers in the bar, rather tipsy.
“Oh do you want a fag.” he says leaning over the bar handing me one. But I quickly get drawn back in to conversation with the Irish guy as does Boyfriend-W does with his friends.

Roll on to the second night and I’m back Peppermint bar enjoying my drink. The guy sat next to me leaves, leaving the only empty bar stool in the bar. I had learned not to look at the door when it opens as you can’t see who’s coming in because of the outside street lighting is so bright compared with the darkness of the bar. Someone sits next to me on the empty bar stool, I look and then look again realising it’s Boyfriend-W. We say hello and start chatting. One of the wonderful things about Boyfriend-W is the fact he’s honest. He stated that I was wrong to prejudge him and I and apologised. Since I’ve thought about it and he’s totally right. But more importantly I know why I did it: my emotional barriers that I have to protect me. When somebody helps me realise something about myself, I can’t help but feel interested in a person. Already finding him physically attractive I became even more attractive as I discovered he’s funny, caring and very intelligent. So that’s how we met and got talking.

The following night he invited me to stay at his and I did. Followed by spending several days at his, enjoying his company, his friend J who lives with him and the dog and cat. He cooked while I stated over – the most amazing food. He’s such a good cook. I’ve been honest and told him I don’t cook – but I did my share of the cleaning up afterwards. We got in a little routine of me doing my own thing in the afternoons (usually sun-bathing), meeting up at his bar in the evenings and then going out for drinks after he finished work. And then one day, just sat having a brew his couch in the afternoon watching TV he asked me out. I accepted, knowing that he was coming over to where I live to visit family next week, so it wouldn’t be too long until we saw one another again.

On my last full day in Benidorm pulled a face and said:
“You know I’ll have to stay at my hotel on my last night. As I’ve gotta be checked out by twelve and I’ve gotta pack my case and everything.”
“Check out early and stay here. I’ll drive you back to your hotel, you pack your case, I’ll meet you later in the bar and then we’ll go and pick up your case. Then tomorrow I’ll drive you back in time for your coach.”
“Okay.”

In part 3 I’ll do a gay guide to the gay pubs and clubs in the Old Town of Benidorm and mention the purpose built new town.

Write soon,

Antony

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Who is your lifetime match?

By The WebOne Comment

I filled in an online quiz on Facebook. Here’s what it said:

They are born between 21st April – 21st May

Even though you’ve been told more than once that fairytales don’t exist, you just won’t let it go: you’re a big romantic and you carry on waiting for them. A smile, a bunch of flowers, a candle-lit dinner, a sensual kiss under a starry sky… some would say it’s an old-fashioned view but you love it! You fall in love easily but you’re a natural worrier and are always afraid of being abandoned. You have a continual need to be reassured in your relationships, which can sometimes be tiresome for your partners. This easy-going, affectionate person reassures you. You like snuggling up in their arms.

They are of a faithful nature, and by their side, you will no longer be afraid of being abandoned. They help you to express your emotions and to liberate yourself from your fears. Before meeting them, you feel like a little boy but they enable you to gain confidence…

This sounds like me in some areas, but it’s just a bit of fun!

Antony

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An interesting AIDS Advert

By Gay2 Comments

This blog contains an animation with gay sexual scenes – promoting condom use to fight against AIDS. It is likely to be an educational safe sex health message from some other country.

IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO WATCH A GAY THEMED SEXUAL HEALTH ANIMATION, IT DO NOT CLICK PLAY!!!

(I don’t know how I can make that any clearer than above.)

Click here to display content from YouTube.
Learn more in YouTube’s privacy policy.

I don’t know who produced it. But it shows being a gay boy/man growing up and getting hurt (after sex with partners) but him always using a condom. He eventually finds Mr Right and all is happy. It is a lovely video.

I like the message it promotes about being safe with partners. I also like the message about eventually finding Mr Right rather than Mr Right Now.

So Mr Right, I will find you. I know I will.

My love to all,

Antony

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What makes a relationship work?

By Life, Love & Relationships, Thinking2 Comments

Hi All,

Missed me? I’ve been away at David’s for the first whole week ever. He doesn’t have the internet, hense no opportunity to blog. The week reminded me what I have learn’t about What makes a relationship work from past relationships as well as the present one with David. So here’s what I’ve learn’t:

Expectations
In order to make a relationship work you must know what you want out of it. Your expectations. Many relationship experts recommend if your single you make a list, so you know what your looking for. What these relationship experts often for get to tell you is that you also need to find out what your partner expects out of the relationship too. There’s two people in a relationship you know!

Issues
First you need to recognise your internal issues and then you need to start to deal with them. Whether it’s letting go of the past or dealing with your insecurities you need to deal with the psychological baggage we pick up as we go through life. One of the issues that many people have is confidence.

You must have confidence in yourself and who you are as a person. Someone once said to me: How can you expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself? Confidence is a difficult thing to quantify but you know if you have it or not in a relationship. It is also equally difficult to build confidence, but it is doable.

Your partner will also have some of the psychological baggage or ‘issues’ that we all pick up in life. You can help by discussing both of your issues together and dealing with them together.

Communication
Communication that clear and honest is vital in any relationship. David and I have had a few arguements (see Job Interview & David and A mad week!) and they are always to do with unclear communication.

A recent example of unclear communication between David and I was the Monday (the 2nd night staying at his apartment). He was tired and had to wait for me to get in. I had forgot to mention to him that I was going to a friend’s and when I did I didn’t let him know when I would be home.

Result: an arguement. My issue getting my level of independance right (one of my ‘issues’) and his the lack of clear communication.

A Mental and Physical Connection
A mental connection also called companionship or friendship. Many people say “my partner is my best friend.” Now whereas I probably wouldn’t say they should be your best friend (as it would make you too reliant on them), they should come close. Mutal interests aid this mental connection. As does sharing the same personality characteristics (such as both playful, serious, artistic, etc.).

A physical connection, passion is also vital. You must fancy them, as much as they fancy you. Couples are strange. Some spend the whole ‘honeymood period’ in bed whereas other couples physical connection enhances as time goes by and they get comfortable with one another.

All couples will have their own way this area of their relationship develops. Your fine as long as it continually developing and not becoming routine or worse none exisistant. If this happens there are plenty of books that will give you advice on how to spice up the bedroom department.

Trust
I have seen many relationships break down due to a lack of trust between and in one another. Trust is a odd thing, it is a feeling of utter secure-ness. Like a duvet rapped tightly around yourself making you feel all warm, snug and secure. One of the wonderful things about being in a relationship with David is that I trust him 100%. In addition to this, the duvet feeling he immitates when he hugs me tightly in bed.

A Sense of Humour
For me one of the most wonderful thing is laughter. Laughter to me is the verbalised form of happiness. So a relationship with humour is a relationship with happiness. We all have essentially a sense of humour but sometimes we keep it locked inside. So every now and again, release it and let it out to play!

Individuality & Independance
Getting the right balance of individuality and independance is important. And definitately (from my own experience) not easy. Individuality is about remaining who you are. You are bound to pick up character traits, sayings and little ways off your partner but it is essential that you are you. Your partner fell for you, not for a clone of themselves.

Independance is about doing your own thing. This is benefical in as it gives you space and allows you not to become dependant on your significant other. Both you and your partner need your space in order to continue to grow and develop as individuals and neither of you wants to be completely dependant up on the other.

Rituals
I’m not talking pagan here (see Pagan Festivals). Rituals are little routines that you and your partner do together. Whether it’s Wednesday night take away night or staying in bed till late Sunday these routines allow you spend quality time together and bring your closer together.

Support
We all need support at times, whether we like to admit it or not. There will be hard times when you need support in a variety of senses: beit emotional stress, financial stress, ill health, etc. You need to realise when your partner needs support and he does you (this is made much easier with open, honest, clear communication).

Support can be offered in many ways. Being a sounding board for him, practical support (shopping for him during a stressful move), but even just being there with a calm stress-free energy can help.

So…
So this is what I’ve learn’t. I hope it is useful for your relationship. And if your single – I hope it helps you when you meet someone.

Blog soon,

Antony



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