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Import: My Come Out Reactions

By Creativity, JournalismNo Comments

I’m out to everybody. These days I rarely need to come out and say that I’m gay, but it wasn’t always like that. Over the years I’ve come out to family, friends, work colleagues and even my GP. There’s been mixed reactions from people when I’ve told them that I’m gay, but most have been positive. In this article I’ll share some of the most memorable with you.

Family
Coming out to my mum was one of the best things I ever did. I knew she would be supportive, as one of her best friend’s is gay. She acted as a proxy, telling other members of the family and family friends that I was gay so I didn’t have to. Some years later she did tell me that she was worried that I would have a more difficult life as a gay man as ‘people can be so cruel.’

The funniest reaction from a family member was when my mum told my Granddad. He told her that I ‘just haven’t met the right girl yet.’ This wasn’t homophobic, just a lack of understanding and naivety of the gay world. This naivety is wonderful and one of the many reasons I love him immensely. He used to work on the tills at what has been dubbed The Gay Sainsbury’s in Manchester. He never realised (and still hasn’t!) that all the gay couples are actually together.

When I came out to my older Brother, a sporty lads lad, he said: ‘You’re still my brother. And I still love you.’ This acceptance from him meant the world to me and it still does.

Friends
My friends and I don’t really remember me coming out. That means that it wasn’t really a big deal. It was said, accepted and then we moved on. But there’s always that one friend isn’t there? When I came out to him, he said: ‘Me too.’ We’re still friends today and our same sexuality helped to build the bonds of a lifelong friendship.

Work Colleagues
I’ve had many work colleagues over the years, all in different settings and the vast majority coming out has been done by answering the questions: ‘So how was your weekend? What did you get up to?’

However I did have one Born Again Christian work colleague who said: ‘I accept that this is how you feel, but it’s not part of gods plan. It says so in the bible.’ This was a face palm moment and I rarely spoke to him after that.

At one workplace a closeted lesbian work colleague saw the overwhelmingly positive reaction to me as an out gay man and this gave her the courage to talk about her life and her partner openly. Prior to me arriving she had avoided conversations about anything personal, but after seeing how our work colleagues reacted to my talk of gay pride and my relationships she became more open at work and seemed happier for it.

GP
I had gone to see my family GP, an older Asian man, about something and decided to disclose my sexuality to him. I think I was at the stage in coming out where you want to tell the world that you’re gay. He said: ‘it’s unnatural.’ And then resumed talking about what I had gone to see him about. This hurt. Said by a supposed non-judgemental professional. Whenever I hear someone say ‘unnatural’ it takes me right back to that consultation room and makes me feel really uncomfortable.

My coming out reactions have been in the vast majority positive. I have been accepted for who I am. But that’s not always the case. Gay people coming out face the fear of rejection, actual rejection and in some cases abuse or violence. If someone can’t accept you for who you are and recognise that your sexuality is an important part of who you are, you have to ask yourself a serious question: do you really want this person to be a part of your life? I know what my answer would be.

Published by: The Gay UK on Sunday 16th December 2014.

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Wednesday 1 October 2014

A Week Without Facebook & Twitter

By Life, Technology, The Web2 Comments

I banned myself from Facebook and Twitter for a week. I felt like social media was taking up too much of my time and that it was too accessible (being available on my phone, tablet, through the internet, etc.). I used the week to reevaluate my relationship with social media: how I use it, how often I use it and what I use it for. What I learned about myself, Facebook and Twitter was fascinating.

Antony-Simpson-Writer My Relationship with Social Media
The week off social media has caused me to realise a few things:

1. Facebook & Twitter are the main sites I visit on the web.

2. I hate incorrect information on the social media sites along with hateful comments/status’/groups. As an example, my friends were sharing a group called KGT (Kill Gays Today) on Facebook, with good intentions. They were sharing it to encourage people to report it, so that it would get banned. But having seen a few of these hateful groups shared recently, I honestly just don’t want to see another. Ever.

3. I check social media, while doing other things at the same time. This means that social media wasn’t taking up as much time as I thought – and – that giving them up didn’t give me a load of free time back.

4. Checking social media distracts me from activities were I need a high level of concentration, such as writing. So I did benefit for a whole week of not being distracted while writing.

5. I had to stop myself throughout the week from habitually checking Facebook & Twitter, which made me realise that I use them daily.

6. I found myself making excuses to myself to check them and then forcing myself not to, behaviours common with a developing addiction.

7. I found out that I do like seeing what people are up to without having to speak to them.

8. I love unique content people create and share on Facebook & Twitter, but sometimes I just wish there was more of it.

facebook-logo Facebook’s Sneaky Tricks
Facebook used sneaky tricks to try and make me go on it. First in a week it gave me 30+ notifications, all cleverly worded to make me feel like I was missing out. I had posted a status update saying I wouldn’t be on for the week; yet friends continued to message me, tag me, etc. This caused me to question how many of my friend’s actually see my status updates? I realised that I felt more identifiable on Facebook, so was more likely to be cautious about what I post/share on there.
twitter-logo Twitter’s Lack of Appeal
I have to admit that I barely noticed not using Twitter. I only received 3 notifications all week. My pet hates on Twitter are: the 140 character limit, the shameless self promotion by some, the lack of pictures/photos and the bad filtering of my home page feed. I actually realised I could live without Twitter in my life, if it wasn’t for the number of Publisher’s Publicists on there.

Giving up Facebook and Twitter has made me more aware of social media’s limitations and the temptation to overindulge. I love the unique content people make and share; so I shall be the change I want to see. Later on in the year I’ll be sharing/tweeting some of my short stories I’ve been writing, and continue to share my journalism articles with you all.

Blog soon,

Antony



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Saturday 5 April 2014

The Google Nexus 7 Tablet – What I Like and Why I won’t be Buying

By Technology, ThinkingNo Comments

Google

has announced the release of their Nexus 7 Tablet. There’s loads I like about the tablet including the specs which look fantastic, the size – just right to be used anywhere and the £199 price tag makes it very affordable. Here’s a video about it:

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The Nexus 7 Tablet is available to pre-order on Google’s Play Store. There’s only one thing that stops me from buying it: the Android OS.

Buggy Software, Causing Slowdown or Shutdown
The Android OS started as software for smart phones. Many of my friends who have Android OS smart phones tell me the apps are buggy and make their phones slowdown or even shutdown. So I can only imagine this happening on the Nexus 7 Tablet. I personally just want software too work and how it’s suppose too.

Vulnerability & Lack of Software Updates
We’ve got to remember that smart phones are now tiny computers. The Android OS has recently become really big in the smart phone market. What happened when Windows became widely used in the PC market? It was targeted by viruses, trojans and hackers.

We are keeping more sensitive data on our phones (think online banking for instance) and would on the Nexus 7 Tablet too. Yet on the Nexus 7 tablet we’d expect Google to respond to vulnerabilities in the Android OS and from the experience of my friends already using Android OS they don’t. Many of my friends report never having an update for their phone, even after owning them for years. So despite software bugs and the fact that every OS has it’s vulnerabilities Google doesn’t seem to update their phone. The Likelihood is that they’d do the same for the Nexus 7 Tablet.

So if I could choose my own OS for the Nexus 7 tablet, I probably would buy it and install a different OS.

Write soon,

Antony

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Sunday 22 July 2012

Two Hundred

By Life, The Web8 Comments

Can you believe that this is my two hundredth blog post? In celebration here are some questions answered. Hopefully you’ll learn more about me and what makes me tick, expect references to some of the posts I’ve written:

1. Why do you blog?
Blogging for me fulfils my creative urges and is also theraputic. It allows self expression on how I view myself, the world around me and how I experience it. It is also a great way for family and friends to keep up to date with my antics.

2. When do you blog?
I usually blog during the weekday evenings. Occasionally I do have a full day blogging on a weekend. On a weekend day, I can bash out several blog posts and schedule them to publish at a date and time of my choosing in the future. So don’t assume that the date of publish is the time I’ve written them.

3. What do you blog about?
Anything and everything. My blog is abstract really. I tend to blog about my own life experiences, what’s going on in my life and other things that I’m passionate about. My main two passions I’ve noticed I blog about a lot are gay rights (including homophobia) and my religion, paganism.

4. Is there anything you don’t share on your blog?
Although I may appear open and that I share everything on my blog, I actually don’t. I only blog about things I would say to a member of the public (as anyone can access this blog on the World Wide Web). There are many things I consider to be private that I never blog.

5. Where do you live?
I’ve never revealed this on my blog and don’t intend too. I live in an apartment I’ve recently bought. You can see photos on my blog post The Move.

6. Whose important in your life?
My family and friends. You can read more on my blog post People that inspire me.

7. What have you achieved in your life?
A many number of things, like I’m sure you all have. I’ve bought an apartment, completed a HE Diploma in Children’s Nursing, learn’t to drive, a many number of spiritual achievements. I guess it depends what you call an achievement? And anyway, how is an achievement measured?

8. What would you like to achieve in the future?
Well I have a grand plan, you can read more on my blog post A Magickal Grand Plan. It includes things I wish to achieve in all areas of my life, health, family and friends, love, education, creativity, career, paganism and spirituality, experiences, home life, finances and travel.

9. Are you religious?
Yes, I’m a pagan. You can read more about what being a pagan means for me on my paganism page of my website.

10. What is your religion? What does it involve?
My religion is paganism. It involves following the cycle of the year, you can read more on my blog post entitled Pagan Festivals.

11. I’ve noticed your adventures page hasn’t been updated in a while. Do you ever plan on updating it?
Yes, I plan to do some more adventuring in the next year. I hope to travel a bit more next year. I had intended too this year but travel got delayed due to buying my apartment,

12. Are you on any of the popular social networking sites?
I’m on facebook, for friends only. I am also on twitter @antonysimpson. It mainly contains tweets from when I update this blog and replys to other people’s tweets.

13. What’s your websites design? And how did you come up with it?
The idea is that it’s a cork notice board with a piece of paper pinned to it. It was designed by my good friend Sye. I am especially proud and love the cartoon style naviagation icons that change on mouse over at the top of the site that Sye did the art work for.

14. What do you like to do for leisure?
Write blog posts, obiously. Surf the web, read, TV, socialising, meals out, see friends, cinemas and films, allsorts really.

15. I’ve noticed you write a lot about gay rights. Why’s this so important for you?
I think it’s important to me as I know friends who have experienced homophobia. People I love and care about being isolated and mistreated because of their sexuality. I have experienced homophobia, but not to this degree. I also have read up on my history and know what it used to be like for gay people. No role models in society (on the TV, media, etc.), no rights (no recognition of gay relationships by the mainstream hetrosexual world), being mistreated by institutions (police raiding gay pubs, courts prosecuting gay people, homosexuality being treated as a mental health condition, etc.) and I never, ever want it to go back to how it has historically been. Right I’ll get off my soap box.

16. What’s your faviourate film?
Any Disney film. I was brought up on Disney. Probably the reason I’m single though, as I often want the ideal and can’t settle for less. I love rom-coms. The typical love story were boy meets girl, falls in love with girl and ends up with her in the end.

17. What’s your faviourate artist or band?
I’m werid. I like a whole mix of different music from cheesy pop, soft rock, a bit of r n b, opera, indie, everything really. I tend to like songs rather than artists. If that makes sense?

18. What’s your faviourate colour?
Yellow. The colour of the sun (am sooo a sun worshiper!), colour of intelect and creativity.

19. Who are you idols? Who inspires you?
My family and friends inspire me, you can read more on my blog post People that inspire me. But if your talking in the famous world you can find out on my blog posts Inspirational Icons and Inspired by Stephen Fry.

20. Is it true you have diabetes?
Yes. Type 1. Insulin dependant.

21. What’s your diabetes diagnosis story?
That’s a blog post that’s already written. It’s scheduled to publish January 2010 which will mark 3 years since my diagnosis of diabetes.

22. How’s the elearning going? (see Back to University)
I’m ok on one of the modules and the other one I’m slightly behind. I intend to play catch up this weekend. I couldn’t find the resources I needed to do the work. I’m still new to this style of learning and it’s taking some getting use too. But I have bought some new uni books.

23. You seem to post a lot about comedy. Why is comedy so important to you?
I think as Dame Edna would say “we all need to laugh, especially in this world…more than ever”. Comedy enables you to see things from a different perspective and not take things too seriously. I think we need that with all the negativity we are peddled by the media.

24. You seem to love books, what are you currently reading?
Several university text books.
Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend by Jenny Colgan
Wannabe a Writer? by Jane Wenham-jones
How to Create a Magical Home by Marie Bruce
Book by Whoopi Goldberg
So yeah a quite diverse selection of literature.

25.What star sign are you?
I’m a taurus (a bull). You can read more on my blog post As a Taurus….

Take care,

Antony

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Sunday 25 October 2009
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