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Cards on the table

By Friends & Family, Love & Relationships3 Comments

The other night the ex friend with benefits came round for a brew. I’m not sure I like the term ex friend with benefits for him anymore, so from now on he shall be known as JB.

The history between us is that I wanted at a relationship and all he could offer was benefits (which was nice, but not completely fulfiling). I got with my most recent expartner and then when I became single he got back intouch wanting to date. We went on a date (see Harry Potter and Weirdness) which was weird. I had an honest conversation with him about staying simply friends.

Last time he came round I gave him a tarrot reading using some gay tarrot cards. I saw he was going to grow and develop work wise and move home (which was all good for him as was part of his grand plan). Then I saw a man for him. The man had Earth energy (meaning he would be grounded, sensible, solid and stable). This would suit JB as he has a very airy energy (meaning he is very logical, methological, processes and systems based, he also had a creative side – when he chooses to utilise it).

Somehow I ended up lay on his chest with him talking about his life, his feelings and how they have changed over the years. He then said: “Cards on the table. I like you. I am sortof holding on hoping you’ll change your mind about us. I don’t want to pressure you…”

In honesty I don’t know how I feel about him. I don’t want to influence him or his potential future. But how can you have any social interaction without influencing someone? Is that not what a social interaction is?

I still have some hurt about him orignally not wanting a relationship. I know I shouldn’t and I should let it go – but heck recognising how you feel is the first step to dealing with the feelings. I think I also am worried that if we tried it, and I invested emotions, what happens when this earthy man comes in to his life?

I did enjoy our evening. There was something about us both being honest about our thoughts and feelings that was very comfortable (I could have stayed up chatting with me lay on his chest all night) and kindof a massive turn on.

He wants to come round and make tea at mine. I guess I’m one never to turn down a free meal, but hopefully I’ll be less confused about the whole complicated situation by the time I see him.

Take care,

Antony x

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Monday 7 September 2009

A Night of Laughter

By Friends & Family4 Comments

A few nights ago my good friend Sye came round to see the new apartment (and hopefully me?). We went for a walk for an hour or so to realse some endorphines. I really enjoyed the walk, I should do it more often. We chatted for about 3 or 4 hours, often having more than one conversation going at once. It was fun fliting from one topic to another.

Then we settled down with some chips and watched French and Saunders – Still Alive. We laughed our socks off. We have a mutal appreciation for French and Saunders (although I am quite clearly the bigger fan – as I simply couldn’t be upstagged by Sye).

What I love about Sye is that he understands how French and Saunders make there comedy. I’ve said that when he does his live tour, I expect front row tickets.

Take Care,

Antony

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Sunday 23 August 2009

The Unvailing of the BIG PURPLE THING!

By Friends & FamilyNo Comments

….and bring a hat and some cake!

On Sunday I was invited to Chrys’ house for the The Unvailing of the BIG PURPLE THING. This is her lovely outdoor sheltered area that has been painted purple and had two pieces of Lammas themed painted glass. It looked great and was an opportunity to catch up with my good friend Simon.

Hats were encouraged, I think the theme was summer hats for a summer party. I wore a fish hat (a bennie hat longer than necessary at the back). Don’t ask why it’s called a fish hat. Kindof a private joke. It wasn’t exactually a summer hat but it was the only hat I had. I borrowed it off Steve (another good friend) – if your reading Steve I promise to return it soon.

I met a man with the most wonderful energy. I managed to establish he was gay to which I started flirting. He made some comment about me being a child. I replied “Child?” He spelt it out (C – H – I – L – D). I responded by saying “Oh Kid. K – I – D.” Gawd, I am not always cool and collected as I would like to be. I guess I didn’t expect him to be ageist. And he really isn’t that older than me. I did pick up psychically in his aura that he has been hurt in the past. So I decided not to engage with him, feeling that I had overstepped the mark.

He must have realised that he had offended me (although I think I did a good job of hiding this to be polight at a party). Because he later came up to me and started chatting being more social.

It was overall a good party with lots of good pagan conversation with Janet (Simon’s Sister). I love her, really friendly and lovely. Unfortunately as I was unwell I didn’t stay for as long as I would of liked. But really enjoyed it why I was there and went home to bed.

In love and light,

Antony x

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Friday 21 August 2009

A Hollywood Themed Party

By Friends & FamilyNo Comments

On Saturday I had been invited to a Hollywood themed party for my friend Sam. Now it’s ok for women to have a hollywood themed party because they can buy a nice frock and really put there glad-rags on. What’s the option for men? A tux. Well, I belatently refused to wear a tux.

I did come smart. A tight fitting black shirt (tight fitting in a good way), light designer jeans and shoes.

I wasn’t well over the weekend and fell asleep at the party. Yes, I had to be nunged awake.

It was nice to catch up with people that I hadn’t seen for a while. But I was also glad to get home to bed. I felt ambivalent,
party VS bed.

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Friday 21 August 2009
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