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Antony

My World Suicide Prevention Day 2019 – A Fifteen Day Stay in a Mental Health Ward

By HealthNo Comments
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I got admitted to a Mental Health Ward for a fifteen day stay on World Suicide Prevention Day 2019.

On Tuesday 10th September 2019 it was World Suicide Prevention Day. It is organised by the International Association for Suicide Prevention and is supported by the World Health Organization. Suicide is a complex issue, but in many cases it can be prevented. Warning signs that someone is contemplating or planning suicide can include:

  • Talking about wanting to die, saying that they feel everything is pointless.
  • Talking about being in unbearable pain.
  • Lacking any apparent care for themselves. Having no plans and avoiding making plans for the future.
  • Having a diagnosed mental illness such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc.
  • Being anxious, irritable, angry or socially withdrawn.
  • Reporting difficulties with sleeping or sleeping for a large number of hours and still feeling exhausted.
  • Increase in alcohol or drug use.
  • Previous suicide attempts.
  • Giving away a lot of possessions.
  • Saying Goodbye to people, as if they will never see them again.

Back to me. I’d been struggling with my mental health for some time. My mood was (and still is at times) so low. I was/still am at times in a very dark place. Showing some of the warning signs above.

So I went to my GP. I was very honest about how I was feeling. My GP referred me to the Crisis Team for immediate assessment. After being assessed by them, I waited to be seen by the Home Treatment Team. I waited for what seemed like forever and just wanted to go home to bed. However I was warned that if I left the Police would be called to bring me back. I saw someone from the Home Treatment Team and in under 5 minutes she decided that I needed an admission to a Mental Health Ward.

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A green observation light directly above my head in bed. Unable to be turned off and required for staff observations, it did not help me get to sleep or stay asleep.

I spent fifteen days mostly waiting on the ward. Waiting for the next meal, the next medication, the next time I would be reviewed by a doctor. There were activities, but I just wasn’t well enough to participate in them, especially at the start of my stay. My limited concentration span and extreme tiredness being restrictive.

The care that I received during my admission, as well as the care I observed other patients receive was quite frankly unsafe and caused physical, mental and emotional harm. There were some good aspects to the care – like that most of the staff were kind and compassionate. But these good aspects did not make up for the poorer aspects of care. I’m still not well, after a fifteen day admission they still haven’t managed to sort out my medication to fully balance my mood.

I plan to write an exposé report with the issues I experienced or observed other patients experience in relation to the care on the ward, along with suggestions on how they could improve the care given. This is a brave thing to do, especially as I will do it knowing I may end up requiring care on this ward again in the future. But as a Nurse I feel it is my duty to do so and that it would be unethical to say or do nothing.

So the update:

  • I’m now on 3 mood stablisers: Aripiprazole (External Link to HeadMeds) – new for me, Depakote (started on this earlier this year) and Quetiapine (put back on this).
  • My mood is good in the morning, but then crashes and is very low in the evening and at night.
  • I’m now struggling to remain asleep and often wake up wide awake several times in the early hours of the morning.
  • I’m seeing someone from the Recovery Team later this week and have already requested a medication review.
  • Steve, my mum and my sister-in-law to be have all been amazing.
  • Worryingly I still see the same warning signs that I was displaying before being admitted to hospital.

That was my World Suicide Prevention Day 2019 and what’s happened since. Take Care & Blog Soon,

Antony

P.S – Whilst researching more about World Suicide Prevention Day for this blog post, I came across this really good Infographic, that you might find useful to know about, by the Mental Health Foundation:

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Click for Full Size Image. Copyright © Mental Health Foundation, 2019.

P.P.S – A plug for my book:

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Introducing Mitch – My New Car (Ford Fiesta St-Line)

By TransportationNo Comments

Last weekend I went to see Shaun, my brother, Gill, his girlfriend and their new baby. On the return journey in Olly my car, I heard a snap sound and then began to lose speed. I pulled onto the hard shoulder and called the AA. It was bad news. The timing belt had snapped and gone into the engine meaning that I’d either need a new engine or a new car. I opted for the later.

So let me introduce you to Mitch, my new Ford Fiesta St-Line:

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Side view of Mitch.

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Front of Mitch (1).

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Front of Mitch (2).

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Back of Mitch.

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Another Side View Mitch.

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Interior of Mitch.

Write soon,

Antony

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Book Review: Brief Answers To The Big Questions by Stephen Hawking

By Amazon, Books & Authors, NatureNo Comments
brief-answers-to-the-big-questions-stephen-hawking-book-cover Brief Answers To The Big Questions brings together a range of talks and presentations delivered by Stephen Hawking to answer these ten questions:

1. Is there a God?
2. How did it all begin?
3. Is there other intelligent life in the universe?
4. Can we predict the future?
5. What is inside a black hole?
6. Is time travel possible?
7. Will we survive on Earth?
8. Should we colonise space?
9. Will artificial intelligence outsmart us?
10. How do we shape the future?

Hawking starts by telling his story. Here’s a quote that I think is fantastic:

‘One of the great revelations of the space age has been the perspective it has given humanity on ourselves as a whole. We see the unity, and not the divisions. It is such a simple image with a compelling message; one planet, one human race.’
(From: Brief Answers To The Big Questions by Stephen Hawking, page 4, 2018)

Hawking discusses physics, mathematics, general relativity, thermodynamics and quantum physics. He explains on the laws of the universe and science, and what we know and don’t know.

Hawking makes predictions for the future and not just ones related to particle physics or the science we don’t yet understand. He makes predictions about the future of the human race. The first half of the book is science-heavy, almost like Hawking was flexing his academic knowledge and showing what he knows. The latter half of the book is more about inspiration, imagination and hope for the future.

Hawking explains scientific concepts in an engaging way, that stretches the mind of the reader and writes with passion that pours off the page.

You can buy Brief Answers To The Big Questions by Stephen Hawking on Amazon.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Book Review: Dare To Lead by Brené Brown

By Amazon, Books & Authors, ReviewsNo Comments

I first discovered Brené Brown when I saw this TED talk titled The Power of Vulnerability:

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Which Brown followed up with this TED Talk, Listening to Shame:

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dare-to-lead-brene-brown-book-cover So when I started on a leadership course at work, I decided to buy Dare To Lead by Brené Brown.

Dare To Lead is about leadership that is vulnerable, values-based, trusting and resilient. The book is split into four parts.

The first and biggest part is Rumbling with Vulnerability. In this section Brown discusses what vulnerability is, why it is important, myths about vulnerability, using courage to drop our armor as leaders, dealing with shame and empathy and curiosity grounded in confidence.

The second part is Living Into Our Values. Values are very important to me, so unsurprisingly this was my favorite part of the book. This section covers what our own values are, what organisational values can be and how to turn values into measurable

behaviours. The List of Values activity I completed with some of my colleagues at work and I found it an incredibly useful in terms of learning more about them and what they value. Since I have also contributed to a consultation at work around our organisational values.

The third part of the book is Braving Trust. This section of the book is all about building trust as a leader and recognising how trust is built up gradually over time and can be easily lost.

The fourth part of the book is Learning to Rise which is all about resilience. This part of the book is about recognising emotion within ourselves and others as a leader, being curious about emotions and being self-aware enough to recognise what is going on emotionally for ourselves and others.

Throughout Dare To Lead are many helpful strategies that if implemented would make you a better leader. Including strategies around: having difficult conversations, increasing self-awareness, being aware of the values of ourselves and of the people we lead, being aware of the stories we tell ourselves (that may or may not be true), how to build trust and courage in the people that you lead.

Dare To Lead is written in a way that feels like you’re having a conversation with Brown. She gives examples from her own experience and also asks open questions styled in a coaching method to encourage the reader to think about how these experiences relate to their own life.

About Brené Brown
Brené Brown is a Research Professor at the University of Huston, is a Social Worker and delivers talks and training on leadership around innovation, creativity and change. Brown has worked with Pixar (Disney) and Facebook around leadership. You can learn more about Brené Brown on her website here.

Dare To Lead by Brené Brown is available to buy on Amazon.

Review soon,

Antony

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