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An Unsent Letter

By Life, Love & RelationshipsNo Comments

I’ve mentioned before that I find writing this blog theraputic (see My Writing Process – for some of my better blog posts). Sometimes it seems we can’t say what we feel to people but we feel that we need to express this emotion. So I decided a month ago to write an unsent letter.

The idea is basically that you write a letter to the person expressing how you feel, but you don’t actually send it. So a month ago today, I wrote this letter:

Dear name,

Before we met I had noticed you and it seems that you had noticed me too. I was attracted to your deep dark eyes that showed your caring, playful nature and your beautiful body. We met and chatted, you were full of dreams and aspirations. Things started to develop, at times you confused me, did my head in but my heart always loved you. We had an intimate night in which I felt my heart explode with emotions of joy. The truth is that I often relive that night in my mind, the rollercoaster of emotions I felt and then remember that life got in the way.

I care for you deeply and have a desire for you to find happiness. It is obvious that in my ideal world it would be with me. But this is not an ideal world and you are not with me.

You have become part of the gay culture in Manchester. You seem to have taken on their values, that gay men are to be used for sex. This was confirmed when you sent that facebook message saying I should fuck you, even though you have a boyfriend. Where has the caring, playful and full of aspiration name gone? It seems you have no aspirations other to be in this relationship you are in. Where has the idea of going to Uni gone? Where’s the contact with your family that you highly valued at one time?

I guess change in people is inevitable. Just try and stay true to that lovely guy you were when I first met you.

With all my love always,

Antony

I deliberately removed the name, but he will know who he is. This is partly because he will recognise our unique relationship and partly because I accidently-on-purpose sent the letter over Facebook.

Did I miss the point of this exercise? Well no. You see this person and I don’t talk often any more, so what did I have to loose?

He replied about a day later via text:
Idk [I don’t know] what to say. X
I replied:
I’d sussed that. I needed to express how I feel. I wasn’t gonna send it then I thought what hav I got to loose? We dnt tlk anymore. A x x x

A day or so later we bumped in to each other and talked. It came out that he likes me but that he felt hurt from what happened last time. I can understand that. And in honesty, it was my fault. I messed up. There was a lot going round in my head at the time and a lot going on in my life.

I don’t know what I expected him to say? I know what I’d of liked him to say – that was in the letter. I am pleased he read it and I’m pleased that he let me know how he felt and feels. I guess that’s all I could of asked for.

Take care,

Antony

The song I was listening to when I wrote the letter:

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My Writing Process – for some of my better blog posts

By ThinkingNo Comments

Recently I read about Stephen Fry’s writing process (see Inspired by Stephen Fry) and it got my thinking about my own writing process. Some of my better blog posts such as What makes a relationship work, Maintaining Motivation and Relaxation I consider to be well written. So here’s a description of my writing process, I hope the budding writers find it useful.

I currently have loads scaps of paper around the apartment with random blog titles on and idea’s for future posts. My inspiration firstly comes from my own experiences. Other than that I get ideas from listening to other people’s experiences (or reading other’s experiences on blogs), reading the News and generally anything else I come across on the World Wide Web. Sometimes I even type random words in to Google and see what search results appear.

I start by mind mapping what I aspects of the chosen subject I want to write about like below:


(Although it’s usually on the scraps of paper, rather than in Microsoft Paint)

Usually the ideas are in no particular order and need some rejiging in order for it all to make sense. I number the ideas in the order I need to discuss them to make the post flow logically, ensuring I have a Begining, Middle and End.

A begining is important as it needs to introduce what you are going to write about as well as the why, who, how and when. The middle is the section were you expand on your introduction and explain your points in detail. The end brings the post to a conclusion, sometimes summerising your thoughts and or feelings about the topic you’ve discussed so readers leave knowing what the point of your post was.

In terms of the actual writing of my posts I sit in my living room mostly unless I’m feeling particularly inspired to go in the office/guest room with the desktop computer and antique style desk. I usually always have a brew, usually in a big cup (it’s thirsty work). I tend to write in the evenings, after tea and after I’ve chilled out from the stress of the day – unless I intend to blog about my source of the stress of course, in which case the emotions are better when they are fresh. Occasionally I’ll have the Saturday or Sunday (all day and all evening) at home a bash a number of blog posts out and set them to schedule during the week or weeks ahead.

I always try to keep in mind my readers, mostly friends, family and some randomers that have managed to accidently find my blog and keep revisiting (so they must like what they read presumerly). Once a blog post is complete, I preview it and check for any missed words, mispelt words, etc, before hitting the publish/shedule for later button. My editing isn’t the best though and I’m sure from time to time you’ve seen words mispelt, the occassional missing words or worse. Please don’t tell me if you do spot them, I’d rather not know. Ignorance is bliss.

Now, I am not saying that all my blog posts are written using this process. If they all were, I’m sure it would be a much better quality read. But I do try and do a few a month like this to keep my writing readable and enjoyable for my readers. It’s nice to please readers but mainly I write for me. It helps my creative juices flow and I find it for some reason very theraputic.

Hope this helps any budding writers and explains my writing process,

Antony



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