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Unsafe Places to be a Gay Man

By Gay, ThinkingNo Comments

Imagine living with a secret that could get you killed. Imagine the lengths you would have to go to to keep this secret. Imagine growing up being told that people like you are unnatural and immoral. In these circumstances how would you cope? How would you protect your mental and emotional health?

What I’ve just described is the life of some gay men in some places. They aren’t able to choose who they love. They face being disowned by their family and friends, assaults, criminal prosecution and potentially even being sentenced to death. Just because of who they are and who they are attracted to/fall in love with.

In the UK, gay men have equal rights in law and attitudes are becoming more positive towards gay men. But this wasn’t always the case.

Just fifty years ago, being gay was illegal in the UK. Gay men weren’t out, they couldn’t marry their male partners, couldn’t adopt children as a gay couple and couldn’t give blood.

If fifty years ago a gay man had come out and told people of their sexuality they would face legal consequences (such as being locked up in a mental hospital or worse chemical castration). They would face being disowned by their community (if not driven out of it), become the repeated victim of crime, experience unsympathetic and homophobic Police, experience discrimination when buying goods or accessing services, be unable to get employment and many other negative consequences. All because they’d been honest about who they are and who they are romantically attracted to.

Given this history of prejudice and discrimination (both on individual and institutional levels), it’s not surprising that coming out is a big event for gay men. Gay men who do come out show emotional vulnerability, driven by a desire for loved ones to fully know them and a hope that they will accept them for who they are. It explains why some people gay men will never come out and take the secret of who they are to their grave.

It also explains why gay men often have mental health issues (including being at greater risk of suicide), low self-esteem, problems with addiction (self-medicating difficult emotions such as shame or fear) and generally worse health outcomes than heterosexual people. There’s a lot of shame, self-loathing and unhappiness in the gay community. It is currently getting better in the UK, with younger generations of gay men experiencing these issues to a lesser extent.

But around the world there are many places where it is extremely unsafe to be a gay man. Where gay men still have to hide who they are. I think it’s really sad that gay men have only got equal rights in some countries, but not others.

Here are some countries where it is unsafe to be a gay man and what the legal consequences could be for coming out. An out gay man in any of these countries would likely experience the same prejudice and discrimination that an out gay man would have experienced in the UK fifty years ago. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Just some of the main countries I found out about whilst doing research for this blog post.

CountryLegal Consequences
EgyptUp to 17 years in prison, with or without hard labour.
MoroccoUp to 6 years in prison, with hard labour.
Tunisia3 years in prison.
Ghana3 years in prison.
NigeriaUp to 14 years in prison. They have the death penalty in some parts, but it is apparently not used.
KenyaUp to 14 years in prison.
Saudi ArabiaVery barbaric. Death penalty, or prison. Fines and floggings.
United Arab EmiratesPrison time. Minimum 6 months, but no upper maximum amount of time (up to the Courts).
Bangladesh10 years to life prison sentence.
MaldivesUp to 8 years in prison.
Pakistan2 years to life in prison.
Sri LankaUp to 10 years in prison, plus fines.
Malaysia20 years in prison.

What struck me after I compiled the list above, is that for some people, their holiday destination might be listed. I wonder if the people going on holiday to these places realise how they treat gay men there? Just a thought.

If you enjoyed this blog post, you might enjoy my Influential UK Gay Men article which is available as a free download here.

Write soon,

Antony

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Sunday 24 August 2025

My Views on The Law of Attraction (including Pros & Cons Lists)

By Paganism, ThinkingNo Comments

The Law of Attraction arguably became famous with the book: The Secret. Later, a film was made about The Law of Attraction with the same title as the book.

The basic theory of The Law of Attraction is that your thoughts and emotions attract people, things and events into your life. Whether or not you realise it.

Each thought or emotion is energy that is transmitted into the Universe. By changing your thoughts and emotions, you can attract whatever you want into your life. The Universe is essentially an abundant cosmic ordering system. Your orders are always fulfilled, but what you get depends on what you order through your transmitted thoughts and emotions.

The Law of Attraction theory does have some merits, but also in my opinion some fundamental flaws. I will discuss these in Pros/Cons lists below. But first, a full disclosure: I’ve watched the film, not read the book. But this shouldn’t matter as I’d imagine they both essentially contain the same basic theory.

ProsCons
Thoughts and feelings are energy is true. If they were not, our brains would use quite so much energy.One of the core concepts of The Law of Attraction is that where you are today (your current circumstances) is a direct result of your past thoughts and emotions.

There is an element of blame associated with this concept, that could lead to feelings of guilt and shame (both really negative emotions that are good for nothing).

Guilt and shame have been used as tools in the Roman Catholic Church to manipulate and control people.

This concept also has no mention of actions. People’s direct actions lead to direct consequences. For example, if a person drinks a litre of vodka daily, sooner or later the direct consequence is going to be cirrhosis of the liver.
The first step is to ask the Universe for what you want by wishing for it. Wishing is a common concept in every Spiritual/Religion system I have ever come across. Different systems just give it different names, such as prayer or spell craft.Blind belief is required. If what your thinking about is not manifesting into your life, you mustn’t be believing that it will and therefore are self-sabotaging. This again feels like blame (see point above as to why that’s bad).
Positive thinking through gratitude can be helpful and have a positive impact on your life. This is true and evidence in the form of research studies are proving this. There’s a reason that there’s been an explosion of gratitude journals on commercial markets across the world in recent years.That you can make every area of your life exactly as you want it to be at all times. Essentially, that you can make your life perfect, all the time, forever. Whilst a lovely thought, I think this idea is a cult-like belief aimed to attract and exploit the vulnerable in our society.

Let’s just consider it for a moment. Okay, what areas of my life have I got going on? Health, wealth/money, home, career, social relationships, romantic relationship and spirituality. It is highly unlikely that anyone could ever get all these areas to line up and be perfect.

I have never met someone who essentially has got life perfect. The exact way they want it. Have you? No, I expected not. But just remember there’s blame again if your life isn’t perfect: you must be thinking or feeling wrong.

The Universe is infinitely complex and this is another reason this doesn’t work for me.
Emotion is stronger than thoughts and is more effective at bringing into your life what you want. From personal experience, when I feel emotions and thread that energy into my spell work, my spells are more than x10 times effective, than casting with thoughts alone.
The Law of Attraction doesn’t explore how our thoughts, emotions and actions impact on the lives of others. This is despite it briefly being mentioned.

A universal truth for me is that our thoughts, emotions, actions or inaction can and do affect others.
That words and wording are extremely important. I believe this to be true. I often see Wiccan’s add: But do no harm to anyone at the end of spells. Then they get frustrated when their spells don’t work, you are essentially tying the Universe’s figurative hands by saying & thinking this.

For example, in order for you to get money by casting a spell for it, someone has to lose it. Therefore the person losing money is harmed.

The Law of Attraction has an interesting idea on the importance of the use of language. Say you want to be debt-free. Don’t use the word debt-free. As the Universe might think you want debt because you’ve mentioned it and therefore attract more of it in your life. Instead, say something like: I am financially secure and prosperous or I have millions of pounds in the bank.		The Law of Attraction doesn’t explain or even mention how other people’s thoughts, emotions or actions can affect your life. And these most certainly do.
I like that The Law of Attraction is empowering and does mention something about sharing good events and fortune with others. It’s just a shame that it doesn’t go into more detail of this.
Visualisation is really important. If you can’t visualise it happening, it’s very unlikely happen.
Repetition is important in terms of both thoughts (intentions) and emotions. This is why Witch’s often repeat spells 3, 6, 9 or 12 times. Three is a very magical number.

There are more Pros than Cons when it comes to The Law of Attraction. The problem is that the Cons are pretty big ones.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Tuesday 30 January 2024

SHAME on the Media Elite – Theresa May’s Speech on becoming Prime Minister

By PoliticalNo Comments

This is my reaction to this speech made by Theresa May on becoming the Prime Minister today:

Well I hate to say it, but Theresa May gave a good speech today. There were some interesting changes to the cabinet and more to no doubt be announced.

However I do want to say SHAME TO THE BRITISH PRESS. Not one of them reported the protests going on outside Downing Street during May’s speech. Complete TV, radio, print and online silence. This is how democracy dies, when those in power whether that be politicians or the media elite ignore and/or silence the views of the people.

The only video I could find about the protests today was this one, ironically from the US:

Click here to display content from www.reuters.com.

Open content directly

I’m sharing it because I think it should be shared. I think it SHOULD have been reported on by the media. Everyone has a right to have their voice heard. If the media elite wont hear them, I will do my best to share their voices on social media/on this blog.

Remember that nobody voted for Theresa May to be Prime Minister. If this had happened in a country in the east of the world, our media would be sensationalising it, perhaps even calling her a Dictator. Although May is saying things that sound good, we really have no idea what she intends to do.

It’s a sad day. Write soon,

Antony

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Wednesday 13 July 2016
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