death

Sometime after the death of my young brother Alex (see My Darling Baby Brother), all of his siblings got a small amount of money from his estate to buy something to remember him. I thought about what to buy for months, months and months. I thought about a tattoo, he liked tattoos but it isn’t really my sort of thing. I thought about a nice ring, but then I don’t really wear jewellery.

With Samhain (see Pagan Festivals to learn more about Samhain) a few months away, I pulled out my ritual robe to air it out. Simon & Chrys created it for me in what was once a stunning white, but ritual after ritual had left it covered in oil stains and looking rather drap. So I decided to have a look and see how much it would cost to buy a new one.

The more I thought about Alex and what to do with his remembrance money, I realised that since his death I only thought of him on that hospital trolly cold and blue. That’s not who Alex was; he was a live wire – full of life. So I thought to myself: When do I feel full of energy and life?

The answer instantly popped into my head like a lightbulb being switched on, when I do ritual. There’s something about feeling the energy of the group swirling around in a vortex (before it’s released into the Universe) and feeling interconnected to everyone and everything that makes me feel energised and so alive. So I decided to use the remembrance money to buy a new ritual robe. I found The Pointy Hat a pagan woman in the US who creates stunning robes. Here’s the new robe:

Navy mid-weight cotton ritual robe, hung up.
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A closer look: The hemming around the lined hood and clasp.
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Me in the ritual robe, cord tucked into a hidden side seam pocket to stop the cats from thinking it’s a toy.
(Click on the photo for full size image.)

It’s beautiful, comfy and warm. Now every time that I do ritual and feel truly alive, I think of Alex my younger brother who left us far too soon.

Take care,

Antony