I met a man recently. His attractiveness caught my eye. He has a young-looking face but his eyes give the distinct impression that he’s older than he looks. He can be masculine but equally effeminate dependant on the circumstances. What I had observed of him fascinated me and I wanted to know more, so I asked around…
I found out that he’s gay – which I’d sort of guessed. That he’s taken (in a relationship) and that he has foster children. I wasn’t sure if this was right so I asked him…
The brief conversation we had fascinated me even more. All of what I found out are true. But what was more fascinating was how intense our brief communication was. It felt as though through his tone of his voice I could sense what he felt about what he was talking about. This fascinated me even more…
So I steered the conversation towards one of the safer things that fascinated me about him and his life: his foster children. I told him that if I ever fostered children with a partner, that I worry that the children would get bullied because of my sexuality. It was a this point that our conversation was interrupted…
I said I’d like to continue the conversation sometime. Since this brief conversation I have thought about this man and his life. Especially in regards to the foster children. A long time ago I crossed things off a list I’d never be able to do…
First getting married. That couldn’t of happened at the time of this list as no legislation allowed it. That’s changed now, gay people can have a civil partnership and the government are looking into the prospect of calling it gay mariage. Second was children…
People always said to me “you can foster”. But I always said, I don’t think society has progressed enough in it’s views to accept two gay men raising children. Perhaps this has changed as well? Something to think about…
Blog soon,
Antony
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Great post.
My friends are in two camps; some don’t want to have children because they are worried they’d be sending them off to fight their battles for them. Others want to take advantage of the opportunity to have children and view it at a perfectly sensible thing to do. Those who have had children, however, have had some real ups and downs – neighbours calling social services just because they’re gay for example – and uniformly they say it does matter where you live.
Hi Mike,
Thanks for your comment. I guess it takes people to be brave and do it in order to change people’s attitudes. A bit like coming out, historically people had to be brave and do it in order for societies attitudes to change.
Antony x