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The difference between a House and a Home

By Home4 Comments

home-apartment-mill-large

My Apartment is in a former Cotton Mill. Image Illustrated by Sye Watts.


A house is a building usually with four walls, a roof, windows and doors that people live in. Whereas a home can be any sort of dwelling and is infinitely more. A home is:

  • A destination that you always look forward to arriving at.
  • A sense of belonging.
  • A place where kin come together to socialise, share meals, drink and be merry.
  • A place filled with laughter.
  • A place where birthdays, Christmas and other events are celebrated.
  • A place of mental and emotional comfort.
  • A place of physical comfort.
  • A place of good memories.
  • A place of love, affection and sex.
  • A place that can be quiet or noisy.
  • A place that may have children, pets and plants that need caring for.
  • A place of growth.
  • A place of life and death.
  • A place filled with sentimental items: photos, ornaments and artwork.
  • A place of safety.
  • A place where you can be yourself without fear of judgement.
  • A place where you can feel exactly as you do without having to explain.
  • A place you feel yourself immediately relax on entering.
  • A place of mediation and reflection.
  • A place where you can dance unobserved.
  • Somewhere that there’s always a cup of tea on offer.
  • A place where good meals are made and devoured.
  • A place filled with sentimental items: photos, ornaments and artwork.
  • A place where personal hygiene takes place.
  • A place where pyjamas are worn.
  • A place where books are read and your imagination is ignited & stimulated.
  • A place where TV and films are watched.
  • A place where music is listened to and enjoyed.
  • A place of privacy.
  • A place where some practice their faith, religion or magic.
  • A place where more than one language may be spoken, sometimes in the same conversation.
  • A place that is part of a vibrant and diverse community.

I am so fortunate. Seven years ago I bought my own apartment (see The Move) and it quickly became my own home. But what makes me feel really fortunate, is that I have several other places that feel like home. Places where friends and self-proclaimed-adoptive-families live.

Take care,

Antony



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Friday 12 August 2016

Import: How to Score a Second Date

By Journalism, Love & RelationshipsNo Comments

So you’ve met this man, you really like him and you want to score yourself a second date. Well you’re going to have to impress him.

Here are some ways to impress a man:

On the first date, let’s start with common curtsy: be on time. He’s not going to be impressed if you’re half an hour late because you were doing your hair or choosing what to wear. Leave yourself enough time to get ready and travel to the venue of the date.

Make an effort with your appearance. Looking smart will impress a man far more than looking like you fell out of a skip. Make sure what you wear is appropriate to the venue of your first date. So there’s no need to wear a suit if you’re going to the cinema, but still make an effort to look your best.

When your date arrives give him a genuine complement. We all like receiving a complement, especially if we’ve made a particular effort to look good. So your date will like this and you are likely to be rewarded by a smile and positive regard.

Be confident, but not arrogant or cocky. Watch what you say and do. Are you talking about yourself negatively? What does your body language say about you? You need to like yourself and show that you do, before you can expect your date to appreciate, like and fall for you. Remember: you are wonderful and unique. There’s no one else in the world that’s you.

While we’re talking about body language, keep your eyes off other guys. Looking at other men will tell you’re date that your not interested in him. Your date should be your focus, so keep your attention focused on him and show this by making regular eye contact.

Don’t forget that you’re on a date. It’s supposed to be fun, so have fun, smile often and make him laugh.

In conversation, you should talk about 50% of the time and listen 50% of the time. Ask your date open questions to discover his interests and passions. Keep conversation light. Avoid emotive topics such as: ex-boyfriends and politics.

Always be honest with you date. Trust is built on honesty. If your not honest and things go well, sooner or later he’s going to find out. This doesn’t mean you have to tell him your deepest and darkest secrets on the first date. Save intimate secrets for later on when the relationship has developed. It’s OK to tell him you don’t want do discuss certain subjects until you get to know him better.

Being yourself is perhaps the most important advice in this article. Don’t try to be something you’re not. It’s exhausting and won’t lead to you being happy. Any gay man who has tried to play it straight will know this.

Have no expectations about how the date will go or what will happen. That way you wont disappointed if the spark isn’t there or you don’t get on. But you will be pleasantly surprised if things go well. There are no rules, so just do what feels right.

Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 13th June 2014.



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Friday 13 June 2014
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