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What are some of the most difficult questions in life?

By Life, ThinkingNo Comments

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Here are some of the most difficult questions in life, along with my current partial answers to them. None of these complex questions have simple answers. If you have a better answer than the one I have, or would like to share your answer to these questions, please leave a comment below.

Who am I?

Who I am is fluid rather than fixed and changes constantly. It encompasses my thoughts, feelings, intentions, actions, omissions, behaviours and my soul. Who I am changes as quickly as each encompassed element can change.

What is consciousness?

Consciousness is a result of billions of neurons in the brain firing electrical signals to other neurons. Our body allows us to sense the world (through taste, sight, touch, smell, sound and psychic intuition) and then create thoughts and feelings based on the now, memory and past experiences, dreams and hopes for the future.

What’s the meaning of life?

I have no idea what the meaning of life is. But I’ve got a feeling that it’s different for every life. I do know that you should decide on the purpose or ideally purposes of your life.

Purposes may include: dedication to family/friends, goals/achievements of your own, contribution to the wellbeing of others, learning/studying/growth, to create or destroy, to consume and enjoy, to travel, to adventure and experience, to improve humanity, to love, the list goes on and on.

Where does creativity come from?

Perhaps the question should read: what inspires creativity? A large number of things can inspire creativity, including: nature, research, other people’s creative works (art, music, literature, sculpture, etc.), curiosity, questions, past experiences, daily life, failures, logic/illogic, other people’s ideas, emotions, procrastination, through play, again the list goes on and on.

Does God exist?

Pagans are polytheistic, meaning that they worship many Gods and Goddesses. I personally believe that these Gods and Goddesses represent humanistic aspects of a Divine Energy.

This Divine Energy is infinitely complex and incomprehensible by the limited human mind. This Divine Energy is within everything that ever was, is and will ever be. It is timeless, interconnects everything and keeps the universe in balance through constant creation, change and destruction.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

We all have a sense of fair play. When we see bad things happen to good people, we notice it as it feels unfair. We notice it more because the person is a good person. But life events are simply what they are.

Sometimes bad things appear at random and sometimes they are methodological. They can be difficult to accept and it is normal to feel a sense of injustice and unfairness.

Reframing your thoughts to acknowledge that bad things happen regardless of whether a person is good or not is a way to balance your thinking. It is also useful in breaking the association between behaviours (being a good person) and negative life events (the bad things).

What happens after we die?

The cells, tissues and organs in your body die (necrosis). Your body decays until the point that only your skeleton is left (skeletonisation).

But when most people ask this question, they are referring to what happens to the soul after death. Well most believe in heaven or an afterlife of some sort. Others believe in reincarnation (being reborn as another person, animal or plant).

I personally believe in both an afterlife and reincarnation. I think that your soul is energy and is released from your body on your death. It travels to another plane of existence (the astral plane).

The astral plane is like an afterlife but not like a traditional version of heaven. You are reunited with other souls that you have known (possibly over several lifetimes and the times in-between). You have the choice of if and when (although there is no concept of time in this place) you want to be reincarnated.

The purpose of being reincarnated is so that you can grow as a soul, but also so you can do some of the things that only physical entities can do (such as enjoy food, music, dance, sex).

What is love?

Poets, Writers, Musicians and Artists have all been exploring what love is and how it is expressed since humans were first able to feel and think. I think any type of love starts with vulnerability, connection and intimacy. From there it grows into trust, warmth and attachment.

For me there are different types of love:

  • Love shared with friends. Familiarity, shared interests, shared values and loyalty.
  • Love shared with family. Familiarity, growing together, mutual respect and unconditional acceptance.
  • Love shared with a lover. Romance, possibility, comfort, sensuality and sex. (I should note here that I am single.)
  • Unexpressed love. Fantasy, a crush, desire and longing.

Have I met Mr/Mrs Right?

How the heck should I know? But I would ask yourself: Does he/she make you laugh? Can you tell them anything? Does he/she build you up and support you? Does he/she add something to your life? Does he/she have their own life, with their own friends, dreams and ambitions? What do your friends and family honestly think about them and you as a couple?

Hopefully answering these questions will give you more insight.

Can love last a lifetime?

Yes. As long as both partners continue to grow independently as well as growing together. And as long as they continue to love one another. I believe love can last, not just a lifetime, but into the afterlife and beyond.

Write soon,

Antony

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Mini-Reviews: Films I’ve Watched Recently, Part 3

By Amazon, Reviews, TV, Online Streaming & FilmsNo Comments

Welcome to the final part of my Mini-Reviews of Films I’ve watched recently. The second part is here: Part 2 and the first part is here: Part 1. I know I’ve got a bit delayed in writing this post (it’s been sat in my Drafts for a while) and that I haven’t wrote any other film reviews recently, but that’s because I’ve read so many fantastic books I’ve wanted to share with you. Anyway onto the films…

The Vow (2012)
In The Vow (2012) Paige and Leo are a married couple who are still very much in love. They leave a theatre walking to the car in the freshly falling snow. Once they get into the car Paige rubs her bitterly cold hands together; Leo takes her hands into his, puts them near his mouth and gently blows warming them up with his breath. On the drive home Leo stops at a red light. Paige unbuckles her seatbelt to kiss him and a truck hits the back of them. Paige is knocked through the windscreen.

Afterwards at the hospital Leo recovers well, remembering back to how they met and how their relationship developed with the audience being shown a montage of these events. Paige is in a coma and when awakens she has permanent amnesia, remembering nothing about her life with Leo.

Paige goes back to the last people she remembers loved her, her family. Paige goes back to her apartment with Leo and starts to try to piece together the bits of her life she can’t remember. Paige discovers that she doesn’t have many photos of her family and asks Leo about it. Leo tells Paige that she wasn’t that close to her family. Paige and Leo drift apart with Leo heartbroken.

Paige rediscovers why she wasn’t close to her family, rediscovers her forgotten passions and in the final scenes in the film rediscovers Leo. Leo goes to get something to eat at what used to be their favourite place before the car accident; but it’s closed because of a Snow Day, as he turns to leave he sees Paige. Paige suggests they try an alternative place they used to go to when this place was closed, but they agree to try somewhere new. The ending implies a happily ever after as they walk off to experience a mexican place round the corner both going for this new experience together.

This film is inspired by a true story and without doubt is one of the best love story films I’ve seen in a long time. It has happy ending that leaves you feeling good. The actress playing Paige was brillant, but the actor playing Leo wasn’t. I have watched this film again and again and still enjoy it. If you’re into love stories with a happy ending you’ll love it.

The Wicker Tree (2010)
The Wicker Tree (2010) starts in Texas, America with the Cowboys for Christ evangelical group. They are dispatching Beth (a Pop Star turned evangelical Christian) and Steve (her boyfriend) to Scotland to spread the word of God. Beth & Steve have purity rings meaning they wont have sex before marriage.

The story is somewhat forgettable, but from what I can remember Beth & Steve are negatively received when they arrive in Scotland. A Lord and his wife invite Beth & Steve to stay with them in a small village to convert some of the locals. Beth & Steve accept, but what they don’t know is that the whole village is pagan led by the Lord and his wife.

Once there Beth struggles with an internal conflict between what she wants to do and what the church says is right. Steve is quickly corrupted by a beautiful blonde. The film ends with Beth & Steve becoming part of the local pagans sinister May Day celebrations.

Up! (2009)
Up! (2009) is an animated film by Pixar and is one of the best animated films I’ve ever seen. Carl is a young child obsessed with Charles Munts an adventurer who brings back a giant bird skeleton from Paradise Falls (South America). He meets Ellie whom also loves adventure and wants to go to Paradise Falls.

Carl & Ellie become good friends and then an emotionally touching montage starts showing them falling in love, getting married, losing a baby & being told they’ll never have children, starting to save for a trip to Paradise Falls but then the jar being broken as their car needs fixing, the jar being put on a shelf & being forgotten about and them working enjoying their life together to their old age. The montage ends showing Carl see the jar in his old age, buying the tickets to Paradise Falls, taking Ellie to the park to surprise her, but then Ellie falling ill & ending up in hospital never to return home. This montage alone made me cry which is testament to the storyboarding.

Then in present day Carl is a grumpy OAP still living in his town house, his only connection to Ellie. The once quiet neighbourhood has been changed into an urban development with high rises all around his house. When a builders truck hits his mailbox Carl loses his temper and hits the construction worker. This leads to a Judge saying he must sell his home and move into care. But Carl has other ideas and ties a gazillion multi-coloured helium ballons to his house and takes off, destination: Paradise Falls. But Carl gets a disturbing surprise when in mid-air he hears a knock at the door; it’s Russell a young boy whose a Wilderness Explorer.

The film is essentially an adventure film that’s about rediscovering life for Carl and discovering a father figure for Russell. There’s undertones of sadness and hope throughout the film as the characters bond and a relationship develops with a mutual threat that they discover in Paradise Falls.

There’s another lovely montage at the end of Carl & Russell both living their lives as we come to hope for them; unsurprisingly I cried with happiness at this ending.

Zombieland (2012)
I love a good zombie film and Zombieland (2010) is one the best. It’s more of a comedy than a horror; Columbus is an uber-geek and former College Student whose survived a zombie apocalypse with his list of rules. He has a number of rules on his list including: Rule 1 – Cardio, Rule 4 – Seat belts and Rule 48 – Hygiene. Columbus is making his way across America back to of his hometown of Columbus, Ohio in the hopes of finding his family among the survivors.

This unlikely survivor meets Tallahassee a bad ass zombie killer obsessed with finding a Twinkie and they agree to travel together. Along the way they meet Wichita & Little Rock two sisters who cheat them out of their car and weapons. Columbus & Tallahassee find a Yellow Hummer and decide to go after the trickster sisters.

Columbus & Tallahassee catch up with the sisters, there’s a stand off between them which ends when Columbus loses his temper telling them that they’ve all got bigger problems to worry about. They decide to journey to their own destinations together with the sisters saying that they are heading to an amusement park called Pacific Playland in Los Angeles. Columbus, Wichita & Little Rock have heard that their destinations are zombie-free. But Wichita lets slip that Columbus, Ohio has been completely destroyed and with this revelation he decides to accompany the others to California.

Their journey has some funny scenes; and along the way we find out why Tallahassee isn’t searching for a place of safety and what he’s lost. We see a relationship start to unfold between Columbus & Wichita.

As the film reaches it’s conclusion Wichita & Little Rock arrive at Pacific Playland in the dead of night. They turn on all the lights and rides and attract the local zombie population. They end up stuck on a ride up in the air with zombie’s climbing up to get them. But just when they think it’s all over, Columbus & Tallahassee turn up and save them. The final scene shows the whole group leaving together as a makeshift family.

The film is what I’d call an easy watcher, meaning that if you don’t analyse it too much you can really let yourself go and have a good laugh. Definitively more a comedy with zombies thrown in, than a zombie film with comedy. Some critics have compared it to Shaun of the Dead (2004), probably because they are the only two mainstream zombie comedy’s around; I’d hate to compare the two but if I had to I’d say Shaun of the Dead (2004) is slightly funnier. Still well worth a watch though.

Zookeeper (2011)
Zookeeper (2011) is a film about Griffin, a Zookeeper at Franklin Park Zoo. Five years ago his marriage proposal was turned down by his girlfriend of the time because of his job.

Then he see’s her again and she still seems interested. He decides to win her back, even if it means working with his brother at the Car Dealership. The animals (who can and do talk to one another) hear about this so decide speak to Griffin to help him win his former girlfriend back whilst staying at the Zoo. From the animals point of view he’s the best Zookeeper they’ve ever had and they want to keep him.

It’s suppose to be a comedy but I failed to find any of it funny, despite really trying too. I think the problem was that it’s very dumbed down humour. The storyline was glaringly obvious from the start: Griffin and his ex-girlfriend get back together and he realises she’s not the one for him. Instead Griffin ends up with Kate the Vet who works at the Zoo.

Review soon,

Antony

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Book Review: OMG Queer edited by Radclyffe & Katerine Lynch

By Amazon, Books & Authors, Reviews2 Comments
The kind people at Publishers Group UK sent me a copy of OMG Queer to read, then review and I’m so glad they did as once I started reading I found it difficult to put down.

OMG Queer is an anthology of short fiction stories written by queer (gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, questioning and intersex) young people. Stories are the oldest form of communication to share hopes, fears, dreams, fantasies and these stories share all of these and so much more.

I’d like to tell you a little about each story as the cover of the book doesn’t do justice to the stories contained within.

Jelson by Brenna Harvey
Jelson made me rethink the whole gender identity issue. Jelson is intersex character who fluctuates between being a boy and a girl. It’s cleverly written switching between he and she as Jelson changes gender. It is revealed that he doesn’t want to be a boy or girl but exist in that space in-between, a space that up until this story I didn’t even realise existed. This story reminded me that often we don’t know what other people think about themselves or what they think of ourselves. A fantastic start to the book.

The Tea Bowl by Justine F. Lane
A beautifully written story about unrequited love. A lesbian English Tutor teaching in Japan falls in love with a soon-to-graduate student.

The Piano Player by Thomas Graziano
The story starts with Will at his grandma’s funeral. In the corner he notices an attractive piano player who plays his grandma’s favourite song. He thinks nothing more of it until a few weeks later on college campus he hears someone playing the piano. Will is a romantic gay man whose never been kissed. Will realises the guy playing the piano on campus is the same guy who played at his grandma’s funeral: Wesley.

I smiled reading that Will had made a pact with his straight female friend to marry each other if neither of them had met Mr. Right by the age of forty; as it’s something I think most gay men have done – I certainly have. I smiled again when Will checks social networking sites to try and work out Wesley’s gay or not. Something I’ll admit to doing.

Will gets his kiss and Wesley appreciates his love of his piano playing. This story is written in pieces that are brilliantly intertwined together. The story pulled out my romantic side that we all have. After reading this story I felt inexplicably happy; when I thought about why I discovered that this story had filled my heart with hope of meeting Mr. Right one day.

Crystal Crisis by A.J. Slater
Ryan is the only out lesbian girl in a homophobic school. Nobody talks to her apart from popular Crystal who shares one class with her. They bonded over Crystal having a regular ‘crisis,’ she never has a pen to do her homework with and always asking Ryan if she can borrow one. This story flips between the past – their last day at school; and the present – Ryan coming back to the small town to visit with her girlfriend.

In the past Ryan describes borrowing Crystal a pen and talking to her before some of the other students start name-calling Ryan. Crystal stands up for Ryan, and it quickly escalates into the other students viciously attacking Ryan and Crystal. By the end of the assault Ryan has stopped breathing and Crystal has to do CPR in order to save her life. Afterwards in front of the Head Teacher Ryan remains silent out of fear, something she’s never been able to forgive herself for. The Head Teacher decides that Ryan and Crystal have enough credits to graduate early, seemingly wanting to sweep the whole issue under the metaphorical carpet. They both declare their love for one another and leave school on that day. Ryan going off to study filmmaking and Crystal going off traveling in Europe.

In the present Ryan bumps into Crystal in the pharmacy when she see’s a woman rummaging in her bag for a pen. Ryan offers her a pen and they speak. Crystal is now a School Counsellor so that no one will ever have to experience what they did and she’s followed Ryan’s successful career as a filmmaker. Ryan apologies for her silence after the attack and Crystal explains that she was never angry and understood why she was silent. Then they are met by their respective female partners and the four of them walk off together. As they walk off Ryan and Crystal are talking about redeveloping their friendship but encompassing their new partners as well. Ryan finally forgives herself for her silence following the homophobic attack, after holding on to guilt for so many years.

A Tale of Modern Magic by Olivia Dziwak
This is a reflective story about a Polish lesbian who volunteers for her schools Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) in Canada. One night while volunteering at a World AID’s Day Event she meets Jane a pretty girl who also volunteers for the GSA and they decide to date. What makes the story truly remarkable is the description of what the Polish girl feels about the other and how she feels about the prospect of dating her. I found this story to be incredibly emotionally touching.

Indulge Me by Ashley Bartlett
An overly confident, borderline arrogant twenty year old Bartender is the main character in this story that is essentially about the chase. The Bartender see’s an older woman and the chase commences, the older woman playing hard to get. Eventually as expected the bartender gets her prey and they have a night of passion.

After this night the Bartender doesn’t see the older women for a while and the reader begins to question which of them was really the prey? When they finally do catch up the Bartender reflects realising that all she wanted to do was flirt with an attractive woman, she wasn’t ready for more. The outwardly confident Bartender transforms into someone whose more real, a woman who has insecurities just like everyone else.

Ignite the Sky by Julie R. Sanchez
Grace is on her knees picking up some chewing gum in her local shop when she meets Callie. Grace feels a presence above her slowly looking up taking in gorgeous Callie in front of her. Callie introduces herself and a friendship develops between them. Callie wants to feel alive and Grace comes to understand the importance of this through her adventures with Callie. Written in a diary style by Grace, it is discovered that Callie is bisexual. Callie likes girls and boys but it is about the person, they both talk about how they feel and the story ends with them admitting they both love one another.

A Round Trip by Warren Smith III
This is my favourite story in OMG Queer. Writer Ethan is on train the train to the city for work when he see’s a sign that reads Follow Your Passion. Ethan thinks to himself if only it was that easy. Then Zack sits opposite him and they quickly get talking, they even share one of those comfortable silences that usually only people who know each other well share.

Ethan doesn’t need to take the train the next day as he’s off work, but he can’t stop thinking about Zack so makes an excuse to himself for his need to take the train to the city again. This reminded me of the excitement of meeting someone new unexpectedly, which hasn’t happened to me in a long time. Zack gets on the train and sits opposite him. Zack invites Ethan to the city, as if he’s a visitor that’s never been. Ethan accepts and plays along pretending to fascinated by everything Zack’s points out.

They have a genuinely fantastic time together, exploring the city, shopping, then on to a Night Club with Ethan realising that Zak is his passion. The brilliance of this story is in the expression of how Ethan feels which is portrayed through the writing. Warren Smith III, should be really proud of this impressive piece of literature he’s created. After the story I was inexplicably happy. I was fizzling with excitement for Ethan, yet at the same time had a longing for a similar experience.

Butch Fatale by Kirsty Logan
Butch Fatale is a story essentially about friendship. The underlying message in the story appears to be that friendship and a relationship are both important. Keep both your friends and your lover close to you always.

Pool of Sorrow by Sam Sommer
It’s the Summer of ’62 and twelve year old A.J. is alone – all of his friend have gone away for the summer. Teddy is fourteen years old and one of the “big kids.” Usually A.J. and Teddy wouldn’t interact, but with everyone away they begin to and a friendship develops.

One day as routine A.J. goes to look for Teddy but he can’t find him until he hears someone sobbing and crying in Teddy’s shed. It’s Teddy and he explains that his dad used to help him set up the pool every summer before he died. Teddy asks A.J not to tell anyone that he was upset and asks A.J. to help him set up the pool, which they do together. Then Teddy suggest playing “the game.” Teddy throws a pirate key into the pool right in front of A.J, dives under to get it and rises so that they are touching torso’s.

“The game” progresses to Teddy’s bedroom were they have their first sexual exploratory experience together. The story is well written with the right level of sexual intimacy for the ages of the main characters. I related to the story as I had a similar sexual exploratory experience as a teen; and I can imagine many other people would relate to the story for the same reason.

My Lips by Joseph Aviv
My Lips is a descriptive story about growing up, starting at two years old up to the age of nineteen. It uses the main characters lips, events and the relationship with family members to describe what it’s like growing up gay. The main character as a child moves his lips often, but when he starts to realise he’s gay he becomes silent. He uses silence as his protection. He’s very family orientated and when he comes out as gay to his family, they accept him. Slowly his lips start to move again as his finds his voice once again.

Fighting for Lies by Aimee Lukes
Billie and Alaina are good friends. Billie likes Alaina and one evening they kiss. Alaina shares her internalised homophobia expressing that what they have done is “wrong” and that it’s symptom of a “sickness.” Alaina has also heard whispers that homosexuality is normal. This story switches perspectives between the two main characters, ending with Billie explaining to Alaina that she has tried to make everyone else happy and that all it has done is make her miserable. This story was the only one in OMG Queer that felt as if it had been cut short.

There Was a Knocking on the Door by Andrew Arslan
There Was a Knocking on the Door is set in New York and is a coming out story. A son tells his Muslim father he’s gay to his fathers reaction “I can’t believe this.” His father had always preached about treating everyone fairly and he can’t believe his fathers reaction to him sharing his sexuality. He goes to his room burring his face in his pillow, regretting coming out.

Then he hears his mother shouting at his father in the bathroom. He goes to see what’s going on only to discover that his father was about to take an overdose of medication when his mother walked in on him. His mother instructs him to go back to his room, which he does. Then the story ends with a knocking on his bedroom door from his father. The traumatic story appeared to end on a low, with the reader hoping the main character and his father can reconnect on common ground.

My Aahana by Ariana Montoya
Jo attends a all-girl boarding school and isn’t happy that she’s going to have to share her room with a new student. Jo also worries that her secret, the fact she likes women maybe exposed. But then the new student Aahana arrives. Jo is instantly captivated by this beautiful Indian girl and a friendship starts to develop between them.

One day Aahana receives a call from her father. He tells Aahana that she must go home to India and marry the son of her grandma’s friend or her father won’t receive the inheritance that he needs. Jo is crushed. Despite Aahana not returning Jo’s feelings in the way she would like, she doesn’t want to loose this amazing woman. As Jo says goodbye to Aahana at the airport she thinks about telling her how she feels, but decides against it as it would change nothing. Jo and Aahana make eye contact and Jo senses that Aahana always knew how she felt about her.

First Time by Archer Darke
First time is about lesbian couple Grace and Hayden’s first time having sex. It is a very graphic, which I found too much for me as a gay man.

Hella Nervous by Rebekah Weatherspoon
Tracy is a sporty, confident and butch girl who is attracted to Oksana a shy, quiet and reserved girl. Tracy can’t stop ogling Oksana and eventually invites her back to hers after school. Tracy is thrilled when Oksana accepts and once at home makes her intentions clear. They begin to hook-up with Tracy a confident lover and Oksana being slightly awkward. As the hook-up relationship develops they learn more about each other.

One day after hooking-up Oksana asks what Tracy wants. Oksana asks if Tracy wants more than “fooling around.” Tracy had never considered what she wants but realises that she really likes Oksana and wants to be her girlfriend. They agree to date and the story ends wonderfully with Oksana coming out at school as Tracy girlfriend. There are a few shocked class-mates but you get the idea that with Tracy around Oksana will be OK.

Chili Powder by Anna Meadows
A bisexual girl moves to a new town and a new school. This foreign girl struggles to adapt to this new school and make friends. So she sits alone in the shade of a tree to eat her dinner. Everyday she has an orange that she sprinkles Chili Powder on to add to the taste of the otherwise bland fruit.

One day while sitting under the tree a boy with no Adams apple, small hands and feet sits down beside her. This use of language implies that this boy is trans although it never states it. Initially she’s shocked but they begin to speak and one day she kisses him hoping he’ll want more in the future.

Graduation by Brighton Bennett
It’s the last night before Graduation at University for Rachel, Emmerson and their year group. As Freshers they’d got into a relationship together, but it didn’t work out. They reflect on their relationship and feelings for one another at a party, before deciding to go back to Emmerson’s for one last night of loving intimacy before going on to lead separate lives. This story is the perfect end to OMG Queer as is about marking the end of something but looking forward to what will come next.


Considering OMG Queer as a whole, the use of first person in the majority of the stories made them feel very personal and at times intimate. All but one of the stories felt the perfect length and covered a wide range of themes that queer people will relate with. I did notice that the majority of the contributors wrote lesbian stories. This caused me to ask myself Where are the gay youth writers? Perhaps when my writing develops some more along with my writers voice, I might try to write some fictional short stories with a gay theme.

I enjoyed reading OMG Queer so much that it has earned a place on my bookshelf of favourite books; the books on this self have effected me emotionally, influenced who I am and are books that I’ll read again and again. OMG Queer is simply a must read for any queer person.

I could only find the e-book of OMG Queer on Amazon which was disappointing as I prefer real books. So if you want the e-book click any link on this review, or if you prefer a paperback copy you can order it on Waterstones.

Review soon,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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One Month

By Happiness & Joy, Love & Relationships2 Comments

I am alone in the office at work. Sat looking at the screen typing a response to an email. There’s a knock at the door. I grunt in frustration at yet another distraction from my task in hand. I lift myself up off my seat and answer the door to a tall slim blond haired lady with this rather beautiful dozen red roses:



(Click on image for full size)

“Mr. Simpson?” she asks.
“Yes” I reply.
“These are for you.” she says handing me the bouquet. I thank her and close the door. I go back to my desk and read the card, it’s off Boyfriend-W for our one month anniversary. How wonderful is that?

I text him to say thanks and we exchange a few further text messages. I ring my mum to tell her, she laughs and says she already knows, Boyfriend-W had asked for her help. In some aspects it feels like I’ve known him longer than a month, with what I know about him and how I feel about him. I love him and everyday when I think it’s reached it’s peak – that I couldn’t possibly love him more, I find by the end of the day I love him more than I did yesterday.

In other aspects I feel like I’ve known him less than a month especially in terms of the time we get together alone. This doesn’t bother me, in fact the opposite, it excites me. This is because I know that we’ve got plenty of time together in the future to have special alone times.

For our one month anniversary I sent him two daft things:
1. A chocolate cow (a private joke that I think he got and appreciated) and
2. A slinky (one of them toys that walks down stairs, looks like a spring).

I am incredibility daft like that. I tried to send him something to make him laugh and give him a few minutes of entertainment (seeing if it can navigate his spiral stair case). Of course if I had known, I could have done the whole romance thing – but these things are best done after being thought about with the pure intention to suprise your loved one.

Thank you Boyfriend-W for being so thoughful, caring, kind, romantic but mainly for just being you. Look forward to spending many more anniversaries with you.

Take care,

Antony

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