I’ve been thinking a lot about romantic relationships recently.
Relationships can be complex. Having two (or more) individuals each with their own wants, needs and desires requires good communication to navigate the labyrinth of potential issues.
I am famously single, due to the fact I grew up around abusive relationships.
But here are some red flags that would make me run for the hills:
- Manipulation – Getting you to think or feel a certain way. Particularly negative thoughts or feelings such as feeling inadequate, guilty, shame or fearful.
- Any sort of Unjustified Blame.
- Controlling behaviour – Getting you to act in a way that suits the other. This includes not allowing you to spend money or wear certain clothes.
- Disrespect – Including put downs or insults.
- Oppression – Preventing an individual from expressing opinions or views.
- Any sort of abuse – Physical or verbal. Nobody has a right to abuse another.
- Using Sex, Money or Anything Else to alter the power balance in an individual’s favour. This includes denial unless an individual complies with what the other wants.
- A lack of anything positive – A relationship should help you to grow as a person and this requires support and positivity.
- Alcohol or Drug use – Usually to mask historic trauma. The individual part taking in these behaviours needs to address the trauma and begin to heal
- Isolating – You from family and friends.
- Too Serious, Too Soon- Wanting to move in, get joint bank accounts, etc early on in the relationship.
- Wanting to spend every waking minute with you.
- Excessive jealousy.
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Blog soon,
Antony
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