Health
1. To quit smoking.
2. To test my blood sugars twice a day.

Well I haven’t quit smoking this year. But I know I need too. So it will probably go on new years goal list.

After recently being ill I have started to test my blood sugars more than twice a day, but it still needs to be on next years goals as I’ve only recently started regularly testing my blood sugars.

Education
3. To complete my Dissertation and Change for Children modules, therefore completing my degree.
4. To complete Complementary Therapies (Teach Yourself Your Evening Class) with Ian (my boyfriend).

As I wrote about in the The Annual Christmas Card Letter because of Alex’s death I didn’t manage to complete the Change for Children module meaning it will be a goal for the year ahead.

Ian and I split up, but I was still determined to at least start Complementary Therapies (Teach Yourself Your Evening Class). That was until I realised the cost of essential oils and the other equipment I’d need. So the course has popped in the cupboard of no return.

Creativity
5. To use my creativity more in my everyday life.
6. To write a short story per quarter of the year with themes. The themes and deadlines:

Theme	Deadline
Heroes and Villains	31st March 2010
Love	30th June 2010
Life & Death/Light & Dark/Good & Bad	30th September 2010
In search of an “object”/Holy grail	31st December 2010

7. To read 10 fiction or autobiographical books and review on the blog.
8. To read 5 pagan books and review on the blog.

I feel that I do use creativity more in my everyday life, especially with this new job.

I haven’t done any creative writing this year, despite setting myself deadlines. I do have some good ideas and hope to write in the year ahead. I want to be Writing Something Worthwhile. I’ve read twelve fiction or autobiographical books, but not managed to review them all on the blog. I hope to catch up with the reviews in the new year. I haven’t managed to read 5 pagan books this year.

Paganism & Spirituality
9. To continue to work on invokation of Apollo.
10. To read Astral Projection for Beginners by Edain McCoy and regularly practice my astral projection.
11. To buy a book on runes, learn runes and practice.
12. Host a psychic party.

My pagan and spiritual development has been somewhat arrested this year. I bought Astral Projection for Beginners by Edain McCoy but then borrowed it out so haven’t read it yet. But I have done some Astral Projection. I also bought runes and a book about it, but runes didn’t connect with me as a method of definition.

Financial
13. Pay off credit cards.
14. To not increase my debts.
15. To live more frugally.

My credit card debts have stayed at roughly the same owed. So I’ve managed to not increase my debts which was a goal for this year. But in the year ahead I really need to focus on reducing the debts and the interest that I pay on them. I need to renegotiate my out goings and save regularly for that “rainy day.”

Family and Friends
16. To support them to achieve a state of increased happiness.
17. To see my friend Simon at least once a month.

I hope that I have supported my family and friends to achieve a state of increased happiness. I have given advice, supported them through difficult times and most importantly been their to listen. I’ve definitely achieved the goal to see Simon at least once a month, in fact I’ve exceeded it!

Travel
18. Save up to visit the Egyptian Pyramids.

I haven’t managed to save up to visit the Egyptian Pyramids, but it is a place I’d still like to visit.

Coming soon – My Goals for 2012.

Write soon,

Antony

Antony

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted and the last few blog posts have been about books I’ve read, rather than what I’ve been up to. So don’t worry, I know we are well overdue a catch up. Let’s start with the weekend. I was all set to have a fantastic weekend. I had booked Monday and Tuesday off work, making it a long and exciting weekend. Here was the plan:

So where did I end up? At home in bed. I had a bug and felt at points like I was dying. I couldn’t even tolerate at food at one point, which I know dieters would love, but believe me it was horrible. I had stomach cramps, a banging head, sleeplessness, vomiting and temperatures. I’ve texted everyone and apologised for not making my plans, explaining that I was ill. But do you know what the worst thing about this nasty bug? It’s like it knew I had a busy long weekend, filled with good times, because it struck Friday night and I’ve only just started feeling better today. I go back to work tomorrow. So I have aptly named this the long weekend, that never happened.

Now you know what they say (who ever they are), “You must have caught a bug?”
Well if you see anyone coughing, sneezing or looking like they’ve got the bubonic plague, get out of there sharpish! And then repeatedly wash your hands until they’re red raw (only kidding, that would be self harm).

Don’t risk catching this one, it’s really not worth the 4-5 days off work for the pain (stomach cramps & head ache), the I’ve-not-slept-in-five-years blood shot, dark bagged eyes, the sweating one moment shivering the next. So apart from feeling terrible the only good thing is that this bug will help you shift that stubborn pound if your dieting.

Take Care and BE HEALTHY all,

Antony

On a wet Saturday afternoon in the city centre I was ready to play my part in the parade. Wearing a white paint print t-shirt and white jogging bottoms with bright coloured hankies stitched down the sides I was ready to go. The parade set off and it was not long before I felt really unwell. I felt tired and a bit shaky. I was having a hypo. So I sent a friend to the float to get my bag with my chocolate in, sugar being the remedy for a hypo which normally kicks in pretty fast. He toodled off to get my bag.

Then my eye sight seemed to switch it’s self on and off intermittently. I could see and then for a split second just black, then back to seeing. I looked at my hand and up my arm all of which seemed to be shaking. I started to feel like I was loosing my balance and then I got a massive pain in my chest and remember my hand going towards my chest before everything going black.

I came round in an ambulance with two gay, sexy paramedics. One putting some sugar based gel in my mouth and then the other taking my details. I was on my way to hospital with another friend accompanying me. Apparently I had had a fit and fell to the floor hurting my cheek (see photo below), knee, back and arms on the floor.

It took me a while before I came round sat in the accident and emergency department at the hospital. But when I did I couldn’t remember if I thanked them. I should have thanked them and gave them my number so I could buy them both a drink when they were off duty. My excuse for buying them a drink would have been to say thanks, but the real reason, well I’ll leave that upto your imagination. If only I’d been more with it in the ambulance.

Write soon,

Antony

Tuesday 30th January 2007

At the weekend mum had sent me a text message to see if I would come and take a look at my sisters laptop that wouldn’t load up. I am the technical support for anything computer related, although can’t always fix the problem. I had felt ill for about two weeks feeling tired and drinking more than I normally would. I told my mum that I would nip down on Tuesday as I had a “study” day from Uni where I am studying to become a Children’s Nurse.

Whilst at mums I was needed a drink every 5 minuets feeling desperately thirsty – like I was in a desert and had not drank for a week. Mum noticed the amount I was drinking and urinating as said that I urgently needed to get it checked it out. I said I would if it continued for a few days.

Dean (step dad) and Mum drove me home as buses are irregular by the time I had got the laptop working. I knew that the local Walk-In-Centre closed in an hour and it was only a 5 minuet walk away, so I decided to go and get it checked out. I thought they would just test me and say that there was nothing wrong. I even said to the nurse that there was probably nothing wrong, but that I just wanted to be checked to be on the safe side.

The Nurse tested my BM which was 22 mmol/l, and told me I needed to go to Accident and Emergency (A&E). I was reluctant to do so as A&E is some distance away from me and because of the disruption to my life it would cause. The Nurse informed me that if my BM was 26 mmol/l I would be in a coma. She insisted I call my mum to take me to A&E, which I did. While mum headed back to pick me up I packed an over night bag (as advised by the Nurse) and rang Uni to let them know.

The day before Kate and I had been to the cinemas and afterwards this desperate thirst had driven me to take the hour walk (there and back) to ASDA to get as much fluids to drink as possible including a 6 pint milk jug and several litres of fruit juices. Thinking back, if I hadn’t decided on a whim to go and get myself checked out I would have gone home and drank those fruit juices, which would of put me in to a coma. I believe I’m very lucky, however my mum believes “it was meant to be.”

Once at A & E:

I am seen by a young, kind looking SHO broke the news that I was likely to have Type 1 Diabetes and that If it was I would need life long insulin. I will always remember his face. He brought me some written information about diabetes. My reaction was a desire for him to be wrong, for it not to be true. I do not want to be a diabetic. However being a student nurse, I knew that it was likely that it was.

I was seen by a Registrar and started on Intravenous Insulin on a Sliding Scale. This caused me to go hypo. My BM was 2 mmol/l, 0 mmol/l and I would have been dead. It felt like I was dieing, like my life was being drained out of me and there was nothing I could do. It started with stomach ache and the shakes and progressed to me going clammy and not being able to move. Thankfully the nurse discontinued the Intravenous Insulin and went to get me a cup of tea with a sugar.

I was moved to a ward at about 02:30am and greeted by a male nurse (just nice to see a fellow male nurse). As you can imagine I didn’t sleep one bit with the noises and unfamiliarity of the environment. The nurse had to come in every 2 hours to do my BM and I was constantly up at the toilet what seemed like every 5 minuets.

Glossary
BM (Blood Measure) is a measurement of gluecose (sugar) levels in the blood. Before eating it should be 4-7 mmol/l. Two hours after eating it should be below 9 mmol/l.
Hypo / Hypoglycaemia is low glucose (sugar) in the blood, on a BM anything below 4 mmol/l is classed as Hypoglycaemia.
Insulin is a hormone produced by the pancreas which allows cells in the body to absorb the glucose.
Intravenous a route of giving drugs/fluids straight in to the vein.
SHO (Senior House Officer) is a middle grade doctor.
Sliding Scale is when a drug is started on a dose and depending upon your bodies reaction the drug is increased or decreased. E.g. if your BM had gone from 14 mmol/l to 20 mmol/l the insulin would be increased.
Registrar is high grade doctor.

I remember when I finally got discharged from hospital, I went home and started running a bath. While the bath was running, I sat on the floor with my knees up to my chest and cried. It was the first time I was really able to express how I felt about my diagnosis. I am of course three years on much more tolerant of my diabetes. So why share the story?

I felt alone when I was diagnosed and that there was no psychological support. So I guess I’ve shared the story to let others who are newly diagnosed this message:

You are not alone. Others have experienced how you currently feel. It gets better with time. You adjust and adapt.

Take care,

Antony