With the language I´ve started watching YouTube videos such as:

As for my new job table waiting I´ve been shaddowing my colleagues watching and more importantly getting my hands dirty and pitching in. My first night I was quite fustrated with myself – feeling like I wasn´t picking things up quick enough. I´ve never done this sort of work before and learned that I´m actually quite hard on myself. I had to remind myself of the stages of competence:

The Four Stages

Unconscious Incompetence
The individual neither understands nor knows how to do something, nor recognizes the deficit, nor has a desire to address it.

Conscious Incompetence
Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, he or she does recognize the deficit, without yet addressing it.

Conscious Competence
The individual understands or knows how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires a great deal of consciousness or concentration.

Unconscious Competence
The individual has had so much practice with a skill that it becomes “second nature” and can be performed easily (often without concentrating too deeply). He or she may or may not be able teach it to others, depending upon how and when it was learned.
Natural language is an example of unconscious competence. Not every native speaker who can understand and be understood in a language is competent to teach it. Distinguishing between unconscious competence for performance-only, versus unconscious competence with the ability to teach, the term “kinesthetic competence” is sometimes used for the ability to perform but not to teach, while “theoretic competence” refers to the ability to do both.

Certain brain personality types favor certain skills (see the Benziger theory), and each individual possesses different natural strengths and preferences. Therefore, advancing from, say, stage 3 to 4 in one skill might be easier for one person than for another. Certain individuals will even resist progression to stage 2, because they refuse to acknowledge or accept the relevance and benefit of a particular skill or ability. Individuals develop competence only after they recognize the relevance of their own incompetence in the skill concerned.

Possible Fifth Stage
Many attempts have been made to add to this competence model. This addition would be a fifth stage, and there have been many different suggestions for what this fifth stage would be called. One suggestion is that it be called “Conscious competence of unconscious competence”. This would describe a person’s ability to recognize and develop unconscious competence in others.

Another suggestion by consultant David Baume:

As a fifth level, I like what I call ‘reflective competence’. As a teacher, I thought “If unconscious competence is the top level, then how on earth can I teach things I’m unconsciously competent at?” I didn’t want to regress to conscious competence – and I’m not sure if I could even I wanted to! So, reflective competence – a step beyond unconscious competence. Conscious of my own unconscious competence, yes, as you suggest. But additionally looking at my unconscious competence from the outside, digging to find and understand the theories and models and beliefs that clearly, based on looking at what I do, now inform what I do and how I do it. These won’t be the exact same theories and models and beliefs that I learned consciously and then became unconscious of. They’ll include new ones, the ones that comprise my particular expertise. And when I’ve surfaced them, I can talk about them and test them. Nonaka is good on this
—Nonaka, I. (1994). “A Dynamic Theory of Organizational Knowledge Creation.” Organization Science 5: 14-37. (David Baume, May 2004)
(From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_competence, Last Accessed: 29 May 2010)

I´m currently conscious incompetent but getting better all the time.

As for my new life style, I´m loving it. Loving being with Boyfriend-W, going to bed with him and waking up with him. I´m adjusting my body clock to the evenings and most importantly looking forward to learning more.

Write soon,

Antony

(Click on image for full size)

“Mr. Simpson?” she asks.
“Yes” I reply.
“These are for you.” she says handing me the bouquet. I thank her and close the door. I go back to my desk and read the card, it’s off Boyfriend-W for our one month anniversary. How wonderful is that?

I text him to say thanks and we exchange a few further text messages. I ring my mum to tell her, she laughs and says she already knows, Boyfriend-W had asked for her help. In some aspects it feels like I’ve known him longer than a month, with what I know about him and how I feel about him. I love him and everyday when I think it’s reached it’s peak – that I couldn’t possibly love him more, I find by the end of the day I love him more than I did yesterday.

In other aspects I feel like I’ve known him less than a month especially in terms of the time we get together alone. This doesn’t bother me, in fact the opposite, it excites me. This is because I know that we’ve got plenty of time together in the future to have special alone times.

For our one month anniversary I sent him two daft things:
1. A chocolate cow (a private joke that I think he got and appreciated) and
2. A slinky (one of them toys that walks down stairs, looks like a spring).

I am incredibility daft like that. I tried to send him something to make him laugh and give him a few minutes of entertainment (seeing if it can navigate his spiral stair case). Of course if I had known, I could have done the whole romance thing – but these things are best done after being thought about with the pure intention to suprise your loved one.

Thank you Boyfriend-W for being so thoughful, caring, kind, romantic but mainly for just being you. Look forward to spending many more anniversaries with you.

Take care,

Antony

Thursday – Boyfriend-W arrives, we have a take away and I meet his Nan.

Friday – Boyfriend-W’s dads 60th party. An opportunity to meet most of his family as well as some of his friends. I’m pleased to say I got well with the family and as for his friends, at one point in the evening they said:
“Just to let you know, you’ve passed.”
I replied “Passed? I was just being me.”

Saturday – A friend of the families party in my town. They loved him, perhaps more than me. He met my mum and her partner and got a massive seal of approval (how could they not love him? I do, he’s amazing.) We stayed at mine and he was suitably impressed with my apartment.

Sunday – Mothers day. We visited my very-hung-over mum. Then we headed of to Manchester to stay overnight in Manchester Gay Village. We had lots to drink and by the end of it, both felt partied out.

Monday – We took his nieces watching Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I think I was more excited about seeing this film than his nieces, especially considering it was directed by Tim Burton and stared Johny Depp. The film was bizarre being too dark for children but being too child-like for teens. The 3D wasn’t what I expected, but it was quite cool.

Tuesday – I was back in work in the day, but we went round to his aunties who cooked the best food I’ve had in years (think it must run in the family, as he’s a wonderful cook as well). Before bed some wonderful gifts were exchanged on both sides.

Wednesday – I drove him to the airport. Didn’t want to let him go back, but knew he had too.

So we’ve met each others family, got a lot closer and have been making some plans for the future (can’t reveal too much about this yet!).

Blog soon,

Antony

The Old Town – Gay Guide
The old town with it’s narrow streets and traditional architecture hosts a selection of gay pubs & clubs. It is difficult to find a decent online gay guide (as I tried before I went away) for Benidorm, but if you go in to Queens Bar & Hotel they have a locally produced printed gay guide with a map. The only criticism of this gay guide is that it doesn’t give you any information about the pubs & clubs. So here’s my thoughts and opinions:

Queens Bar & Hotel – friendly staff, excellent food, the famous Levi on in the evening show that starts at 10:30-ish. In addition to this, it’s a great place to stay. If I wasn’t staying with Boyfriend-W next time I’m in Benidorm, I’d definitely be staying here.

Peppermint Bar – a good bar for a few drinks. I describe this bar in Adventure 2 – Benidorm Part 2. Apparently it can get raunchy towards the end of evening as the alcohol flows and the men get horny. I can’t vouch for this as I always deliberately moved on from here before it gets too late in to the evening/early morning.

Chaplins – another good bar, opens in the evenings. It had mirrored walls, is well lite and always seems to have plenty of people in (which is always a good sign).

Company Bar – Ok for a drink early on in the evening, it is mainly a chatting bar really. It’s a tiny place with bar stools and little thin circular tables crammed in.

Mercury – a club with dance music. Love it. On my last night with Boyfriend-W we ended up in there. The as the alcohol kicked in we drunkenly danced to Bad Romance by Lady Ga Ga (which we’d heard for like the ninth time that night).

Lovers Bar – you have to buzz to get in, so there’s no telling whether it’s busy or not. When you get in it’s a bar but with dance music. The owner is a local Spanish guy who was touching and rubbing his cock with his hand in his jeans pocket when I ordered a drink. Apparently I’m his type. It wouldn’t have been so bad apart from I was the only person in the place, so I couldn’t really not sit at the bar. Needless to say I downed my drink and left, sharpish.

Men Only – I didn’t really go in this bar as every time I passed it the older crowd seemed to inhabit the place. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just not my scene personally.

According to the Gay Guide there’s plenty of more places there. Some I walked past and where empty so didn’t go in and some I never found. The Old Town also boosts a gay sauna, a bears bar and a sex shop, but I never went in to any of these. Not my scene.

New Town – Straight Ville
I explored the new town on my own one of my first evenings there. My initial impressions weren’t good when on walking around the bars and clubs (a lot of which were closed due to the time of year) and was offered drugs by a Spanish local.

However Boyfriend-W took me down to the new town and we went in to Cafe Benidorm and The Red Dog. The music was camper than in the Old town! And even though it was out of season, it was still reasonably busy. Both of these pubs/clubs are good places to go.

One night I was invited by Boyfriend-W to see Levi the fantastic drag queen at a bar called Sandra’s (Levi also works at the Queens Bar & Hotel). Unfortunately I was knackard in the early evening and fell asleep. I got up too late and had missed the show. Will have to go next time when I go back to visit Boyfriend-W in Benidorm.

So that’s it the final installment of my holiday to Benidorm. So next time your due a holiday, get yourself to Benidorm. I had an ace time and will definitely be going back.

Antony

Later that evening I’m sat in Peppermint bar when he comes in and sits opposite me. The bar is very dark with mirrored walls, a square shaped bar with bar stools around it. The main source of lighting are red lights that illuminate the ash trays dotted around the bar. An older Irish bloke is talking to me, old enough to be my granddad and Boyfriend-W is chatting to some of his friends.
“Right well I’m out of fags and I’ve finished my drink, I’m off home.” I announce to the customers in the bar, rather tipsy.
“Oh do you want a fag.” he says leaning over the bar handing me one. But I quickly get drawn back in to conversation with the Irish guy as does Boyfriend-W does with his friends.

Roll on to the second night and I’m back Peppermint bar enjoying my drink. The guy sat next to me leaves, leaving the only empty bar stool in the bar. I had learned not to look at the door when it opens as you can’t see who’s coming in because of the outside street lighting is so bright compared with the darkness of the bar. Someone sits next to me on the empty bar stool, I look and then look again realising it’s Boyfriend-W. We say hello and start chatting. One of the wonderful things about Boyfriend-W is the fact he’s honest. He stated that I was wrong to prejudge him and I and apologised. Since I’ve thought about it and he’s totally right. But more importantly I know why I did it: my emotional barriers that I have to protect me. When somebody helps me realise something about myself, I can’t help but feel interested in a person. Already finding him physically attractive I became even more attractive as I discovered he’s funny, caring and very intelligent. So that’s how we met and got talking.

The following night he invited me to stay at his and I did. Followed by spending several days at his, enjoying his company, his friend J who lives with him and the dog and cat. He cooked while I stated over – the most amazing food. He’s such a good cook. I’ve been honest and told him I don’t cook – but I did my share of the cleaning up afterwards. We got in a little routine of me doing my own thing in the afternoons (usually sun-bathing), meeting up at his bar in the evenings and then going out for drinks after he finished work. And then one day, just sat having a brew his couch in the afternoon watching TV he asked me out. I accepted, knowing that he was coming over to where I live to visit family next week, so it wouldn’t be too long until we saw one another again.

On my last full day in Benidorm pulled a face and said:
“You know I’ll have to stay at my hotel on my last night. As I’ve gotta be checked out by twelve and I’ve gotta pack my case and everything.”
“Check out early and stay here. I’ll drive you back to your hotel, you pack your case, I’ll meet you later in the bar and then we’ll go and pick up your case. Then tomorrow I’ll drive you back in time for your coach.”
“Okay.”

In part 3 I’ll do a gay guide to the gay pubs and clubs in the Old Town of Benidorm and mention the purpose built new town.

Write soon,

Antony

The locals were wearing their coats, hats, scarfs and glovers and looked at me like I was a crazy person or some sort of tourist sun-bathing topless on the beach.

Plenty of good food, drink and good times were had. I went there as a singledom and came back with a boyfriend. The story of Boyfriend-W (as he shall be named for now) will be revealed in Part 2.

Blog soon,

Antony

He entered the stage wearing a jacket and trousers made out of a silver, silky-looking material which were tailored and very stylish. This combined with a tight black shirt and his white cheeky smile made him look very sexy indeed. (Definitely good eye candy!)

He performed a range of covers from his album Music Music Music. I enjoyed the ballets that seemed to suit his voice but felt it that both the album and performance would have benefited from some original songs.

During the breaks between songs John talked about his life and private family photos were projected on to a screen behind the stage. He seemed to want the audience to know more about him, his past and how he got to be where he is today. He mentioned his autobiography I am What I am, his time as Captain Jack Harness (see Torchwood – The Collection (Series 1-3) [DVD] & Torchwood – Children of Earth [DVD]) and towards the end even brought his parents up on stage.

Overall I enjoyed the show and was glad I bought it. I will watch it time and time again. Although his songs could have been original rather than covers, his charisma and sex appeal makes up for this. There is a part on the DVD were John shows that he knows his sex appeal as he turns and shakes his bum for a few seconds (causing me to say Wow!).

You can buy An Evening With John Barrowman on Amazon.

Review more things soon,

Antony

I fly out a week today and the excitement is starting to fill me as it gets closer. Got my flight tickets and hotel confirmation from the travel agent today. I must say that although the last minute holiday was cheap, us in the land of singledom are discriminated against – I had to pay what worked out to about £100 more because I’m going on my own, rather than as a couple.

It is going to be a week of relaxation. Catching some sun, reading some books, eating, and hopefully making a friend or two along the way. I hope to explore the famous old town that apparently has lots of gay bars/clubs/restaurants etc. as well as making good use of the beach.

Will of course blog about it when I get back. I’m not sure if there are any pre-written blog posts scheduled to publish while I’m away – so you may still have some reading, you may not. Your guess is as good as mine.

Adiós para ahora, bloguea pronto (translated to Spanish via Free Translation)

Antony

The drive “Up North” was beautiful. The sun shone and either sides of my car were bare trees and green fields, often filled with sheep. As I got further North hills revealed themselves, topped with sprinkles of snow. I arrived. E met me at the BnB. He had said when we were making the arrangements that I didn’t need to stay in a BnB, but I insisted. I needed my safety net, somewhere I could escape to if it went horribly wrong. As it happened, it didn’t go horribly wrong, quite the opposite in fact.

We went for lunch at a 1960′s style diner. We chatting and then headed out in the cold to his place. On arrival at his self contained flat I snooped around, trying to take in every detail. A shower room, a Kitchen and then a living / bedroom. The living-bedroom had a TV on a unit with a small two seater couch opposite it. A shelf was stacked with videos, next to a window. On the window ledge a collection of crystals and a small wooden box.

In the back corner a single bed with a bookshelf next to it, it had the most eclectic collection of books on it. I looked over the books tempted to pick up many that interested me. Next a wardrobe showing his diverse taste in clothes. Then I saw a cage with the cutest rat in it. I debated the rats cuteness as I saw E’s altar. I smiled to myself knowing that every item had been carefully placed there for a reason. Finally I saw his DVD collection and stated that I was impressed, he likes some of the things that I like.

We commented on how similar we were and I stated that we probably had some differences as well which would make it an interesting and fun weekend. Later on in the evening we went to the bar where he works. He was a bit apprehensive about taking me as his ex was playing in the band. E stated that his ex had been texting him, asking him to come and see him perform.

We bought drinks and I met his friend Eilidh who I was told was a fantastic singer. I listened to a track on E’s Ipod and had to hear more. So I bought a copy of her CD – which is saying something, because I never buy CD’s. I’ve listened to it, my faviourate tracks are Jane Austen House and particular relating to E – Thinking of You. You can learn more about Eilidh Freeden on her facebook fan page: Eilidh Freedens Songs @ Facebook.

E wasn’t drinking and was driving us home. But he said that I could have a drink so I did. A few vodka’s. As the alcohol started to kick in and I was starting to become tipsy his ex came in. He came over to E and said Hi. He made it obvious that he was checking him out he even looked at me before he did it. I watched the conversation unfold and after he went off to set up I smiled to myself. E was aware that his ex had checked him out (how could anyone not with how obvious he was?). The reason for my smile, E didn’t check him out back or give any sign of interest. In fact E looked like he was being polite and only making the mandatory small talk with the ex.

We listened to his ex sing with the band. He was ok, although I felt that he lacked any expression of emotion in his voice or performance. That in my opinion is the difference between a good singer and an excellent singer – the ability to express emotion and make the crowd feel it too. I was explaining this to one of E’s other friends who was in the bar with her parents. E actually agreed with me.

E kindly drove me home to his. I had a brew and sensing that he was tired walked home in the arctic like conditions to my BandB. I got in and will you believe the heating wasn’t on? I shivered in bed and when I finally fell asleep I woke every time I rolled over to the freezing sheets that hadn’t been warmed by my body heat. Needless to say I won’t be staying there again, but then again I wont be staying in any BnB, I will be staying with E.

Before I knew it, it was Sunday. We did some shopping and grabbed some lunch. At some point prior to this, we’d decided we were dating one another and that I’d be coming up again. After our good byes, I reluctantly headed on my drive home. As I came in to my home town I saw a light dusting of snow covered the ground. I thought about the weekend – what an adventure. I can’t wait to travel “Up North” again, as I know who’ll be waiting for me when I get there.

Write soon,

A happy Antony

Yule
Yule has become an annual celebration at Chrys. Unfortunately I did not feel well enought to attend. However on the 21st December which is actual Yule (see Pagan Festivals) my body did allow me to do a little more and JL invited me round to her home. It turned out to be a late night as JL, her sister, JL’s mum and I all got talking and enjoyed the flowing conversation. It was truely lovely to be invited down, thanks for having me.

Christmas
Christmas morning and afternoon I spent with my family. Throughout the morning and afternoon I recieved text messages with seasons greetings. I tried to reply to them all, sorry if I missed anyone out. While stiring the gravey mum stated “Haven’t we done well, this year?” To which I smiled and agreed thinking I certainly have.

(The gift’s I’ve recieved this year, plus a few I bought for myself.)

So I’d like to say a MASSIVE THANKYOU to everyone who has been kind enough to buy me a gift this year. With thanks in mind I’d also like to thank Kay and her family.

In the evening Kay invited me down to her house to exchange gifts we had bought one another. Both Kay and her family warmly welcomed me and I had a great time, I was only sorry I had to go so soon.

Hoping you all had a wonderful Yule and Christmas,

Antony