So off we trundled to our first Salsa class. On entering the Labor Club hall I noticed the lack of males present, they blended in the crowd of about thirty women. The odd man dotted about looked as if they had seen better days. Their faces cracked and their eyes grayed from seeing years of life. The women on the other hand seemed to be diverse. Women of all different ages, some in conformist colours – blacks and grays, whereas others in bright expressive colour.

As my friend and I sat with our drinks, it seemed that I was attracting the attention of some of the many women. At first I was flattered, being unusually the centre of attention. They walked passed the table, each taking their turn and scanned me with their eyes from top to bottom.
“Don’t leave me. Some of these women could eat me alive” I whispered to my friend as another woman scanned me.
“Look she’s old enough to be my mother.” And we laughed.

The class started and we laughed. All night we laughed. We even learn’t some Salsa steps as well. So it seems my Tuesday evenings have become Salsa Tuesday’s. Can’t wait for my next lesson tomorrow.

Write soon,

Antony

So impressed with this artist’s work that I wanted to know more. So I did some research:

Susan Seddon Boulet, a San Francisco Bay Area artist whose work is widely known, died at her home in Oakland on Monday, April 28, after a long struggle with cancer. She was 55.

Susan Boulet was born in Brazil of English parents who had emigrated there from South Africa. Her early childhood was spent on a large cattle ranch which allowed her great freedom and where she first developed the love of fairy tales and fantasy that would later be revealed in her paintings. She was educated in Sao Paulo, Rio de Janiero, and later in Switzerland. It was here that she began her training as an artist. She came to the United States in 1967, but always retained a great love for the land and people of Brazil.

Susan Boulet’s art has had a profound influence on many people. She was a prolific artist whose themes ranged from portrayals of medieval figures and fantasy characters in her early work to goddesses and shaman figures in more recent images. Working principally in oil pastel, inks and occasionally pencil, she developed a distinctive personal style characterized by the use of color applied in layers from which dream-like forms emerged. Susan Boulet drew her inspiration from a wide variety of sources: mythology and poetry, Jungian psychology and worldwide spiritual traditions, as well as a deep love of animals and the natural world. Underlying her work is a spiritual quality and a universality which strikes a chord in people from many walks of life. Her paintings have been widely reproduced and are held in collections around the world. Published works include Shaman: The Paintings of Susan Seddon Boulet (1989), and The Goddess Paintings (1994), both published by Pomegranate Artbooks in Rohnert Park.

The inspiration that people drew from Susan Boulet’s work was often heightened by their meeting her in person. She loved to be present when her paintings were shown and those who met her, however briefly, were invariably touched by her empathy, gentleness, modesty and charm. Her ability to listen and make personal connections won her innumerable admirers. Indeed, one of her greatest challenges was to balance her artist’s need for solitude with her love of friends. At a recent gathering in her honor a large number of people paid tribute to her generosity, sense of humor and the profound influence her art had exerted upon their lives. Susan Seddon Boulet was married to Larry Boulet who died in 1980. She is survived by a son, Eric, and a brother, Patrick Seddon, of Oakland, California, and her step-mother, Naide Seddon, and a brother, Ernani Seddon, of Sao Paulo, Brazil.
(from: http://www.well.com/~davidu/boulet.html, Last Accessed: 14th November 2009)

I was saddened to read that she has passed away, such a talent gone off this physical plane. I was also disapointed that I was unable to find Gods Knowledge cards and couldn’t create some now that she had passed away.

I loved both of the packs of cards and knew that two of my pagan friends would too. So I bought them for Simon and JL for Yule.

If you want to view more of the truly beautiful and inspirational artwork by Susan Boulet you can google image search her name or click here.

In love and light,

Antony

Yule
Yule has become an annual celebration at Chrys. Unfortunately I did not feel well enought to attend. However on the 21st December which is actual Yule (see Pagan Festivals) my body did allow me to do a little more and JL invited me round to her home. It turned out to be a late night as JL, her sister, JL’s mum and I all got talking and enjoyed the flowing conversation. It was truely lovely to be invited down, thanks for having me.

Christmas
Christmas morning and afternoon I spent with my family. Throughout the morning and afternoon I recieved text messages with seasons greetings. I tried to reply to them all, sorry if I missed anyone out. While stiring the gravey mum stated “Haven’t we done well, this year?” To which I smiled and agreed thinking I certainly have.

(The gift’s I’ve recieved this year, plus a few I bought for myself.)

So I’d like to say a MASSIVE THANKYOU to everyone who has been kind enough to buy me a gift this year. With thanks in mind I’d also like to thank Kay and her family.

In the evening Kay invited me down to her house to exchange gifts we had bought one another. Both Kay and her family warmly welcomed me and I had a great time, I was only sorry I had to go so soon.

Hoping you all had a wonderful Yule and Christmas,

Antony

(Altar prepared with things for the games.)

(The kitchen.)

(The living room 1.)

(The living room 2.)

(The living room 3.)

A good time was had by all (see photos below). They had the grande tour on their arrival followed by drinks. We then did some Numerology, aura sensing and energy transfer. These activities were followed by food (pizza and nibbles) and then we did some more games: pendulums, tarrot cards and What’s my future game.

Kay and I gave them a gift of a small silver bag with crystals that had been charged with positive energy before they left, which was at twenty-past one.

Kay and I stayed up chatting for an hour after they’d gone and then shattered went to bed. The party was such a success that I intend to hold a psychic party annually.

Write soon,

Antony

Sound harsh? I have often blogged about my blog being a creative outlet and allowing me to express how I feel about things. I can’t and won’t start censoring what I write to please or not upset people. GJ and I have a very complex history and relationship.

The basics are that we have tried dating and being in a relationship several times and it doesn’t work. We end up falling out and not talking for months. I hate not having him in my life so we decided to remain friends always.

When I realised that he had choose to delete me on facebook as a friend and choose not to answer my calls and texts it hurt. I had relied on him to always be there for me. Is that wrong? I mean after all he has no responsibility or obligation towards me. And if he met someone I’d be a little jealous that he’d have less time for me, but if the guy made him happy, I’d be happy for him. Sigh.

We got talking again and I invited him to mine for a gathering of some of my closest friends. He barely spoke to them, sat there with his arms folded and left early. He always seems to want more than friendship. One thing I know for definitate: is that it hasn’t worked in the past and therefore the probability of it working if we attempted it again is low. Besides which a good friend of mine always says “Move on to pastures new. There’s a reason it didn’t work.”

I reflected on the experience and to be honest, after his performance the other night and the fact that I actually like being single (selfishly I don’t have to consider anyone else) I am more than happy with a friendship with GJ. I simply wish that’s all that he wanted.

How can I handle this situation? Any advice or answers on a postcard please, or better yet: post a comment.

Antony

Text recieved:
Not sure but will discuss it when I call, need to talk to you

So I called the date who shall remain nameless. He said that he wanted to develop a friendship rather than a relationship. This is fine. We’d only seen each other a few times, so nothing was really invested. No risk, no gain, apparently. I like to stay friends with all those people I’ve dated (not that there’s been that many!), so that’s good.

He did invite me to the cinemas on Saturday, which we’d orignally intended to be our second date. So I declined. I explained that we needed to keep clear boundaries and maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but another time?

I thanked him for our date as I genunially enjoyed it. In reflection it also increased my confidence, just to know that someone was interested in me and it proved I was still able to attract the interest.

Write soon,

Antony

I spent all my spare time in the week cleaning in preparation. He came to stay and like every g.g.h (good gay host) I showed him around, made sure he had clean towls (and anything else he might need) and made him plenty of brews.

The morning after the evening party we spent hours with brews chatting. I found my self listening deeply, trying to absorb every word as he spoke about his life, past jobs, past relationships, his current relationship, his love of the army and his reason for him leaving, his mum and dad and his grandma and granddad. I know I won’t remember every word, but I will do my best to remember as much as possible. For the first time I saw my granddad as a man who has lived a lot of his life rather than simply as my granddad.

So there we go, I’ve had my first guest. It was a pleasure to have him to stay, I love him very much and he is welcome to stay at any time.

Take care,

Antony

We had a lovely dinner although I did have an overspill of the gravey as I’d put too much on lol. It was a lovely day and on our return I had a brew at his before setting off home. I think I have started to breakdown some of the internal barriers towards him and started to become quite open about exploring what could develop between us.

That’s all for now,

Antony

So I had grand plans the other night: Jaquizi bath, a good meal and chill. Then GJ texted me, stating his printer had run out of ink! I felt really bad, so offered to pick him up and take him back to mine to complete the printing for him. He kept saying it wasn’t my fault but I felt guilty. He needed the work the following morning and it was too late for him to go anywhere and buy any.

I scoffed a quick tea down and picked him up. It was lovely to see him. I don’t quite know why, but I have a lot of positive regard for him. We have previously been out (see An update on men and Men, he was called the friendly ex in these posts). I guess I still have some feelings for him, especially after our recent conversation (see District 9 Film Review).

My love life seems to be getting more and more confusing and more and more complicated. Yet, I have had the honest conversation about staying friends with them both. What’s going on?

Blog soon (hopefully less confused),

Antony